A pastor, a politician, and a brick walk into a bar, and the bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve rigid nonthinkers here.” So the brick and the pastor look at the politician, who turns around and leaves.
It's true though: time moves in its own special way in the middle of the night," the bartender says, loudly striking a book match and lighting a cigarette. "You can't fight it.
With this guy, two words come to mind: Probable murderer. But since he was the bartender, another word comes to mind: Understandable.
A lawyer, a politician, and a prostitute walk into a bar, and the bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve your kind here.” And I’d have to agree. Serves them right for being so sleazy.
Two mustaches walk into a bar, and the bartender said, “Can I get you a drink?” Both mustaches turned towards each other but said nothing, because they’d each left their mouth at home.
I came from Texas, I was studying theater at NYU, and I thought for sure that my lot in life would be to get the best bartending job I could find and do theater in New York. And that was a good life.
Ellerby: Queenan is dead. I'm your boss now. Dignam: I don't give a fuck, I'd rather hand in my papers first. Ellerby: World needs plenty of bartenders - two weeks, with pay!
The Unmarried Mother: You ever hear the expression "a ruined woman"? The Bartender: Of course. The Unmarried Mother: Well, I was as ruined as a woman could be. I was no longer a woman and I did not know how to be a man.
Gus Grissom: How ya doin', miss? Lady Bartender: So-so. How you doin'? Gus Grissom: I'm not doin' it any more. The damn thing's draggin' in the mud and I can't get it up.
Jack Torrance: I like you, Lloyd. I always liked you. You were always the best of them. Best goddamned bartender from Timbuktu to Portland, Maine. Or Portland, Oregon, for that matter.
I thought I was going to be a theater actor. I moved to New York after college and did some plays and worked a lot. Once the realities of living as a theatrical actor hit me, I realized I wanted to start making a little bit of money and not have to b...
Yamagata: Heeey! Don't you know that stuff'll stunt your growth! Bartender: Hey, why don't you beat it, punk! You'll scare the customers! Yamagata: Then I wont tell him what's in it, huh?
If I were a betting man, and Thank Vegas I’m not, I’d say this bartender looks guilty of murder. Or maybe he just looks drunk. Possibly the two looks are identical.
A smile, a smirk, and a wink walk into a bar, and the bartender asks them what they’ll have to drink, and I didn’t hear what they ordered because I was onstage giving an exciting lecture with a yawn.
A father and son walked into a bar, and the bartender didn’t serve either because the one didn’t look old enough. And he was right. Who becomes a dad in middle school?
Look, I'm the DD tonight, but I'm offering to be more than just your driver. I'll be your bodyguard, and your bartender, and most importantly, your friend. I promise to look out for you tonight, Wellsy.
I spent a lot of time listening to people. But it's also true that I liked details and listening to people when I was a bartender and when I was a waitress and probably when I was a babysitter as well. I suspect that's part of what drew me to psychot...
My dad was a bartender. My mom was a cashier, a maid and a stock clerk at K-Mart. They never made it big. They were never rich. And yet they were successful. Because just a few decades removed from hopelessness, they made possible for us all the thin...
I remain faithful to bourbon sour. It's absolutely delicious. You'd have to ask a bartender what's in it, but I think if you know you might never have a drink. I also love a little rum, 7 years aged, brown, when it is chilly, before dinner.
I was frustrated because I couldn't get going, as I was trying to figure out how to make films. I had various jobs, I taught a SAT class, I was a bartender, I had a day job at an office and was making short films.
Alan Garner: It was a real pleasure meeting you. Melissa: Fuck off! Alan Garner: I'm thinking about getting my bartender's license. Melissa: Suck my dick. Alan Garner: No, thank you.
