Charlie: [as their handcart begins to sink] Bart? Bart: Yeah? Charlie: Am I wrong? Or is the world... rising? Bart: I don't know. But whatever it is, I hate it. [men slowly sink down offscreen] Bart: Hey, Charlie? Let me ask you something: what is it...
Bart: [Mongo walks down the street past a mannequin-like, penny-arcade-style "gunslinger" - Bart's voice is distorted and seems to be coming from the penny-arcade machine] I'm the marshal in this here town, and you're nothin' but a big fat ferret. [M...
I remember I could do - I did Bart Simpson once on the bus. I did, like, a really good Bart Simpson voice on the bus, obviously before I hit puberty. And everybody went, 'Whoa, that sounds just like Bart Simpson.'
Mongo: Mongo no go. Mongo stay with Sheriff Bart. Sheriff Bart first man ever whip Mongo. Mongo impressed. Have deep feelings for Sheriff Bart.
[while Mongo is beating the hell out of a bar full of toughs, Bart walks in, dressed as a messenger boy and carrying a box] Bart: Candygram for Mongo! Candygram for Mongo! Mongo: Me Mongo. Bart: Sign, please. [Mongo grabs the paper and makes some rou...
Hedley Lamarr: Sign here. [Bart reaches for the pen... revealing his black hands] Jim: [quickly] Why, Rhett! How many times have I told you to wash up after weekly cross burning? [licks his fingers, then rubs Bart's hand] Jim: See, it's coming off. [...
[Bart, disguised as a Klansman, describes his qualifications as a villain] Bart: Stampeding cattle. Hedley Lamarr: That's not much of a crime. Bart: Through the Vatican? Hedley Lamarr: [smiling] Kinkyyyy. Sign here.
Back in high school, I wrote a novel about a character named Bart Simpson. I thought it was a very unusual name for a kid at the time. I had this idea of an angry father yelling 'Bart,' and Bart sounds kind of like bark - like a barking dog.
Bart: Mongo was easy. The bitch was inventing the candy-gram. Probably won't even give me credit for it. [a knock at the window; Bart gets up and sees the same woman who insulted him earlier] Elderly Woman: Good evening, Sheriff. Sorry about the "Up ...
Capt. Bart Mancuso: Mr. Ryan... Jack Ryan: He's defecting. Capt. Bart Mancuso: And he can't change his mind? Jack Ryan: He's not going to change his mind. Capt. Bart Mancuso: Are you willing to bet your life on that?
Bart: So, you got any other cars? David Grant: No. Just that one. Bart: What's the engine? David Grant: It's uh... four cylinder? Bart: Yeah. But, what size? David Grant: Oh, I don't really know. Cole: What's your brother drive? David Grant: Who, Ros...
Bart: [Bart dresses himself as a carnival barker and stands beside a wishing-well] ... Step right up, ladies and gentlemen and... Mongos! Dive, dive, dive for buried treasure! This is the exact spot where the Spanish Armada was sunk by the British Na...
Bart: We could get you to Lincoln in an hour. David Grant: Lincoln is over 200 miles. Bart: Okay, hour-and-a-half.
[Bart returns unexpectedly after being sentenced to death] Charlie: They said you was hung. Bart: And they was right.
Capt. Bart Mancuso: [after hearing Jones's findings] Have I got this straight, Jonesy? A $40 million computer tells you you're chasing an earthquake, but you don't believe, and you come up with this on your own? Seaman Jones: Yes, sir. Capt. Bart Man...
Lili Von Shtupp: Would you like another schnitzengruben? Bart: No, thank you. Fifteen is my limit on schnitzengruben. Lili Von Shtupp: Well, then how about a little... [whispers in his ear] Bart: Baby, please! I am not from Havana. Lili Von Shtupp: W...
[Bart is bidding farewell to the people of Rock Ridge] Bart: Work here is done. I'm needed elsewhere now. I'm needed wherever outlaws rule the West, wherever innocent women and children are afraid to walk the streets, wherever a man cannot live in si...
Bart: Are we awake? Jim: We're not sure. Are we... black? Bart: Yes, we are. Jim: Then we're awake... but we're very puzzled.
Bart: [on grandstand to the townspeople] Excuse me while I whip this out. [reaches into waistline as crowd gasps and screams; Bart pulls out paper, they sigh with relief]
Bart: Checkmate. Jim: What? Bart: Checkmate. Jim: Why, you devious son of a bitch. [picking up his whiskey bottle] Jim: Happy days.
Bart: [watching Mongo's rampage] I don't know what it is. [Van Johnson bursts into the office] Van Johnson: Sheriff! Mongo's back! He's... [realizes Bart is on the opposite side of the room, and turns around] Van Johnson: Sheriff! Mongo's back! He's ...
