What I Found in My Desk A ripe peach with an ugly bruise, a pair of stinky tennis shoes, a day-old ham-and-cheese on rye, a swimsuit that I left to dry, a pencil that glows in the dark, some bubble gum found in the park, a paper bag with cookie crumb...
We call our country home of the brave and land of the free, but it's not. We give a false portrayal of freedom. We're not free — if we were, we'd allow people their freedom. Prohibiting something doesn't make it go away. Prostitution is criminal, a...
Ding Bell: Ah, this is hopeless. We're gonna get noplace if we're gonna continue listening to this old bag. Benjy Benjamin: What are you trying to do, lady? You trying to split us up so it becomes every man for himself? Ding Bell: ...And every woman ...
[while Grumpy overpowers two of the tellers in the bank, Happy and Dopey wait for the silent alarm to come] Dopey: Here comes the silent alarm... [disables it by pressing a button] Dopey: And there it goes. [pause] Dopey: That's funny, it didn't dial...
[Two traders are getting their shoes shined] Trader #2: You can't short the stock because Bruce Wayne goes to a party. Trader #1: Wayne coming back is change. Change is either good or bad. I pick bad. Trader #2: On what basis? Trader #1: I flipped a ...
Jimmy 'Popeye' Doyle: All right! You put a shiv in my partner. You know what that means? Goddammit! All winter long I got to listen to him gripe about his bowling scores. Now I'm gonna bust your ass for those three bags and I'm gonna nail you for pic...
[Bill Foster approaches the gang after they crashed] Bill Foster: You missed. [Foster picks up the UZI and shots to the car] Bill Foster: I missed too. [Foster threatens the gang member as he begs for his life. Foster shoots him in the leg] Bill Fost...
[observing the car wreck] Detective Neal Domgaard: [holds up an evidence bag containing a pearl earing] The boys found this on the floor in the back of the caddy. Detective Harry McKnight: Yeah, I know. They showed me. Detective Neal Domgaard: Could ...
Foulfellow: [after drunkenly singing "Hi-Diddle-Dee-Dee"] And the dummy fell for it. [laughs] Foulfellow: Hook, line and sinker! [laughs again] Gideon: [Dips a smoke-ring in his beer and takes a bite] Hiccup! Foulfellow: And he still thinks we're his...
Harry: [about the failed drug score] Some dumbass junkie! Marion: Did what? Some dumbass junkie did what? You mean, you fucked it up! Harry: What the fuck is wrong with you? Marion: You promised me that everything was gonna be ok remember? I fucked t...
Cowardly Lion: Come on, get up and fight, you shivering junkyard! [goes over to the Scarecrow] Cowardly Lion: And put your hands up, you lopsided bag of hay! Scarecrow: Now that's getting personal, Lion. Tin Woodsman: Yes. Get up and teach him a less...
Cowardly Lion: Come on, get up and fight, ya shivering junkyard! Put your hands up, ya lopsided bag o' hay! Scarecrow: Now that's getting personal, Lion! Tin Woodsman: Yes. Get up and teach him a lesson. Scarecrow: W-w-what's wrong with y-y-you teach...
Matt: [pulls out hamburger buns from paper bag] Oh, Ruth hates these. Willis Grinnel: What? Matt: I got the wrong kind of buns. Willis Grinnel: Maybe we can borrow hers. [points towards Natalie, who is bending over and feeding Duncan] Willis Grinnel:...
Readers may be divided into four classes: 1) Sponges, who absorb all that they read and return it in nearly the same state, only a little dirtied. 2) Sand-glasses, who retain nothing and are content to get through a book for the sake of getting throu...
There are four kinds of readers. The first is like the hourglass; and their reading being as the sand, it runs in and runs out, and leaves not a vestige behind. A second is like the sponge, which imbibes everything, and returns it in nearly the same ...
There were friends all over London who would welcome his eagerly to their homes, who would throw open their guest rooms and their fridges, eager to condole and to help. The price of all of those comfortable beds and home-cooked meals, however, would ...
...There were the studies, beginning in 2007, which found that the suicide rate among women who had received breast implants were twice the suicide rate of the general population. So there's an alarming relationship between being deeply unhappy, bein...
That’s sweet. Nice of you.” Johnson put his hands in his pockets. Dove couldn’t help but wonder if he was massaging a sore bag of testicles. Dove looked around, and Johnson shuffled his feet. It seemed neither knew what to say, but she hoped ne...
We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high powered blotter acid, a salt shaker half full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers... and also a quart of tequila, a quar...
The best birthday present I ever got from my grandpa was a skinny black tie. It didn’t come in a bag, a box, or even rolled up in tissue paper. It came wrapped in wisdom. As soon as he gave it to me he said, “A tie would make a stronger impressio...
Sexually active? Sexually ? Patrick and I hadn't even learned the fine points of kissing yet! I marched on down. 'For your information,' I said from the doorway, as both Dad and Lester jerked to attention, 'I am about as sexually active as a bag of s...
