I'm excited about going back to 'Today,' but, at odd moments, I'll grit my teeth in anxiety. I feel like a student before the start of school. I've got my new shoes and my book bag, but I'm not sure I'll remember how to do trigonometry. During my mat...
Teen #1: You guys holding? Jay: Shit, everything but coke, heroin and your cock. Teen #2: What? Teen #1: How 'bout a nickel bag, man? Jay: [singing] Oh, fifteen bucks, little man, put that shit in my hand. Nong, nong, ning-a ning-a nong nong! Teen #1...
Convenience Store Clerk: [Powell with an armload of Twinkies] I thought you guys just ate doughnuts. Sergeant Al Powell: Heh. They're for my wife. Convenience Store Clerk: [sarcastically] Yeah. Sergeant Al Powell: She's pregnant. Convenience Store Cl...
[Bilbo starts off home, speaking only to Balin] Bilbo Baggins: Could you tell the others I say goodbye? Balin: Tell them yourself. [Bilbo sees that the Company has come to see him off] Bilbo Baggins: If you ever pass through Bag End, tea is at four. ...
Sam the Lion: If she was here I'd probably be just as crazy now as I was then in about 5 minutes. Ain't that ridiculous?... Naw, it ain't really. 'Cause being crazy about a woman like her is always the right thing to do. Being an old decrepit bag of ...
Frankie Dunn: You wouldn't start training to be a ballerina at 31 now, would you? Maggie Fitzgerald: Already been workin' it for three years. Frankie Dunn: And you can't hit a speed bag? What kind of training is that? Maggie Fitzgerald: I never had a...
Max Jerry Horovitz: I have also invented some new words. "Confuzzled", which is being confused and puzzled at the same time, "snirt", which is a cross between snow and dirt, and "smushables", which are squashed groceries you find at the bottom of the...
Nux: Immortan! Immortan Joe! [Immortan Joe turns and looks at Nux] Nux: He looked at me. He looked right at me. Slit: He looked at your blood bag. Nux: He turned his head. He looked me straight in the eye. Slit: He was scanning the horizon. Nux: No, ...
Radar: Gentlemen, I'm Corporal O'Reilly, they call me Radar. You'll be staying in Major Burns' tent. I'll take your things over there now. Colonel Blake: Get everything out of the Jeep... Radar: [while Blake continues speaking] Don't worry about the ...
Corrupt Cop: [finds a baggie in Winthorpe's coat at his arrest] One cellophane bag... Louis Winthorpe III: Now that's not mine! I've never seen that before in my life! Corrupt Cop: [takes some PCP out of the baggie and tastes it] That's PCP! Phencycl...
Bernadette: Oh. Uh, gather around girls, uh, let me show you a trick. You, um, drink the Gin... [guzzles the entire contents] Bernadette: Aaah! Uh, fill the bottle up with water and then put it back in the fridge. Mitzi: Va-t'en vous. What about the ...
Cliff Wolcott: Ladies and Gentlemen, my name is Cliff "Elvis" Wolcott, I'll be your pilot this afternoon. Federal regulations designate this a "non-smoking" Black Hawk helicopter. For those of you who have the "Mogadishu Frequent Flyer" program, you'...
One of my favourite things about dining outdoors in a warmer season is that it frees hands and bares skin. ... When we don't need to wear or carry heavy clothing, our bodies feel lighter and our hands are freed for other things. Like carrying bottles...
Otto: [puts a bag over Archie's head] Hello, Mr. Burglar! Going somewhere? Thought you could rob Mr. Leach, eh? Well, I'm going to teach you a lesson! [kicks him in the stomach] Otto: He just happens to be a very good friend of mine! Archie: Otto! Ot...
A man will never love you or treat you as well as a store. If a man doesn’t fit, you can’t exchange him seven days later for a gorgeous cashmere sweater. And a store always smells good. A store can awaken a lust for things you never even knew you...
A thousand times today I've started to open my mouth, started to squeak out, "Can you tell me...? But then I'd look into the front seat, at my mother's silent shaking, my father's grim profile, the mournful bags under his eyes, and all the questions ...
I'm just sorry. Sorry that there won't be any more camping trips for kids or rock bands or even new books to read. No more movies or fresh bags of popcorn. It really sucks when you think about it. Of course, there is the possibility that we might be ...
That many if not most people...who want fresh leafy greens in January buy them at the supermarket after they've been bleached and plastic-bag shipped from California or beyond is not a tribute to modern technology; it's an unprecedented abdication of...
I suspect that fright, like pain, is one of those things that slip our minds once they have passed. What I do remember is a feeling I'd had before when I was down here, especially when I was walking this road by myself. It was a sense that reality is...
Shouldering the duffel bag with the Marine Corps bulldog, Old Man knocked Jan's photo off the bed table. He turned to stone staring down at the photo. His face then splintered into hurt. Tears seeped into his eyes. He grappled for the nearest bedpost...
Finally, we entered Chetaube County, my imaginary birthplace, where the names of the little winding roads and minuscule mountain communities never failed to inspire me: Yardscrabble, Big Log, Upper, Middle and Lower Pigsty, Chicken Scratch, Cootervil...
