Bert: Uncle Albert, I got a jolly joke I saved for just such an occasion. Would you like to hear it? Uncle Albert: [sobbing] I'd be so grateful. Bert: Well it's about me granddad, see, and one night he has a nightmare. He was so scared, he chewed his...
Homer: Listen, I'm sorry about what's going on around here, but it isn't my fault! What do you want from me anyway? John: You better watch yourself, Homer. Homer: If I go on to win at Indianapolis, I can go to college, maybe even get a job at Cape Ca...
The Grandson: A book? Grandpa: That's right. When I was your age, television was called books. And this is a special book. It was the book my father used to read to me when I was sick, and I used to read it to your father. And today I'm gonna read it...
Jack Sparrow: I love this song. Really bad eggs. Ooh. [falls] Jack Sparrow: When I get the Pearl back, I'm gonna teach it to the whole crew, and we'll sing it all the time. Elizabeth: And you'll be positively the most fearsome pirates in the Spanish ...
Joey LaMotta: They only gave him that fuckin' decision because he's goin' in the Army next week. That's the only reason. Jake La Motta: I knocked him down. I don't know what else I gotta do. I don't know what I gotta do... Joey LaMotta: You won and t...
Roosevelt: The entire outer skin will be like this. Tyler: It's titanium, laminated with kevlar. Roosevelt: Go ahead. Shake his hand. [the robotic arm extends to shake Morton's hand] Bob Morton: Come here often? How you doin'? Bob Morton: [cringes as...
Royal: I got a pretty bad case of cancer. Chas: [yawns] How long you gonna last? Royal: Not long. Chas: A month? A year? Royal: About six weeks. Let me get to the point, the three of you and your mother are all I've got and I love you more than anyth...
Teddy Daniels: So, what's our next move? Chuck Aule: You tell me. Teddy Daniels: I gotta get off this rock, Chuck. Get back to the mainland. Whatever the hell's going on here, it's bad. [pause] Teddy Daniels: [sotto voce] Don't worry, partner, they'r...
Heywood: Hey, Fat Ass. Fat Ass! Talk to me boy! I know you're there I can hear you breathin'. Don't you listen to these nitwits you hear me? This place ain't so bad. Tell you what, I'll introduce you around, make you feel right at home. I know a coup...
Dorothy: My goodness, what a fuss you're making! Well naturally, when you go around picking on things weaker than you are. Why, you're nothing but a great big coward! Cowardly Lion: [crying] You're right, I am a coward! I haven't any courage at all. ...
[Rob has bailed Alvy out of jail] Rob: Imagine my surprise when I got your call, Max. Alvy Singer: Yeah. I had the feeling that I got you at a bad moment. You know, I heard high-pitched squealing. Rob: Twins, Max! 16 years-old. Can you imagine the ma...
Flass: Word on the street is, you got a beef with somebody in the D.A.'s office. Carmine Falcone: Is that right? Flass: And that there's a fat prize waiting for anybody willing to do anything about it. Carmine Falcone: So, what's your point, Mr. Flas...
[Carlyle has asked to see Frost before he dies] Lt. Col. John Frost: Hello, Harry. Major Harry Carlyle: Hello. Johnny. Lt. Col. John Frost: You know, Harry; I always wanted to ask you, but didn't because I knew you so very much wanted me to and I did...
Private Detective Visser: You know, you know, a friend of mine a while back broke his hand and put it in a cast. Very next day, he falls, protects his bad hand, and he breaks his good one. So he breaks it too, you know. So, now he's got two busted fl...
One minute you are here and the next moment you are some place else, some time a long ago. That is the thing about your mind. Memories. Everything still exists in the folds of your brain; you may try to forget or honestly believe that you have forgot...
So as soon as I tell myself I'm the first man ever to be dropped into the world, and as soon as I take that first flying leap into the frosty grass of an early morning when even birds haven't the heart to whistle, I get to thinking, and that's what I...
She breathes music. Lives it and bleeds it. Her headphones have become her heartbeat. Her lyrics are her life. Music is her outlet of pain, love, and rage. Every note unplayed is another minute unlived. Every song unsung is another moment lost foreve...
[Lord Horror] was so unique and radical, I expected to go to prison for it. I always thought that if you wrote a truly dangerous book -- something dangerous would happen to you. Which is one reason there are so few really dangerous books around. Publ...
Afghan Girl Ice blue eyes that look to the morning sky as I knit the pieces and remnants of my life. I have No books, no paper, no pencils, and no black boards. I look at the holes in my life as I see the hills of the Appalachians that echo. I think ...
[Think] of an experience from your childhood. Something you remember clearly, something you can see, feel, maybe even smell, as if you were really there. After all you really were there at the time, weren't you? How else could you remember it? But he...
from the Basement tapes Eric outdid Dylan with the apologies. To the untrained eye, he seemed sincere. The psychologists on the case found Eric less convincing. They saw a psychopath. Classic. He even pulled the stunt of self-diagnosing to dismiss it...
