I had this whole plan when I graduated high school: I was going to go to college, date a few guys, and then meet THE guy at the end of my freshman year, maybe at the beginning of my sophomore year. We'd be engaged by graduation and married the next y...
When you’re telling a story, you’re trying to connect to people in a particular way … The way in which you guys have inhabited this world, this universe, has made you part of it, part of the story. You are living in Firefly. When I see you guys...
See, being a person is kind of random and arbitrary business. You may have noticed that. And you need to believe in something to keep it from being too random and arbitrary to handle. Some people take religion, or success, or patriotism, or family, b...
You're not scared to do the right thing, even when it's harder. Like telling Mr. Weedin when he had copied that problem wrong. Or calling me out when you thought I was being homophobic. And I respect that, Alek. You've got character. That's something...
Vern: Do you think Mighty Mouse could beat up Superman? Teddy: What are you, cracked? Vern: Why not? I saw the other day. He was carrying five elephants in one hand! Teddy: Boy, you don't know nothing! Mighty Mouse is a cartoon. Superman's a real guy...
[the boys are having trouble designing how to get across the river] Teddy: Okay, you guys can go around if you want. I'm crossing here. And while you guys are dragging your candy asses half way across the state and back, I'll be waiting on the other ...
Vern: You think Mighty Mouse could beat up Superman? Teddy: What are you cracked? Vern: Why not? I saw the other day, he was carrying 5 elephants in one hand. Teddy: Boy, you don't know nothin', Mighty Mouse is a cartoon, Superman is a real guy, no w...
Felix: What do you think? Max: I think... [Max sees one of Felix's bodyguard draw his gun out] Max: I think you should you should tell that guy behind me to put his gun down. Felix: What? Max: I said I think you should tell that guy behind me to put ...
Ace Rothstein: [voice-over] And what happens next? I can't believe it. Who the hell would believe that the FBI had a wire in the place looking for some information about some old homicide about some guy who was whacked out God knows when over God kno...
Happy: [after cracking open the bank's safe] They wired this thing up with, like, 5,000 volts. What kind of bank does that? Grumpy: A mob bank. I guess the Joker is as crazy as they say. Where's the alarm guy? Happy: Boss told me, when the guy was do...
Fred Weasley: Nice try Harry, but not good enough Harry: Come on guys, I'm trying to get to Hogsmeade Fred Weasley, George Weasley: We know George Weasley: If you'll stop squirming, we have a better way... Harry: Guys, come on... Fred Weasley: Awwh,...
Alan Garner: Guys. Guys. What about the tiger? What if he got out? Phil Wenneck: Oh, fuck! I keep forgetting about the goddamn tiger! How the fuck did he get in there? Stu Price: I don't know, because I don't remember. Phil Wenneck: Shh! Stu. Stu, ke...
Anne Kronenberg: My girlfriend says you guys don't like women, I'm just asking: Is there a place for us in all this, or are you guys all scared of girls? Harvey Milk: Okay, gentlemen: We've already got a tinkerbell, a lotus blossom, we've got Jim and...
Peter Brand: Billy, this is Chad Bradford. He's a relief pitcher. He is one of the most undervalued players in baseball. His defect is that he throws funny. Nobody in the big leagues cares about him, because he looks funny. This guy could be not just...
Even Bigger Black Guy: I mean you beatin' 10 cops? You putting a man in the hospital? How come I don't see no bruises on you? Big Black Guy: Yeah! Billy Ray Valentine: 'Cause I'm a karate man! And a karate man bruises on the inside! They don't show t...
Maya: [to Navy SEALs] Quite frankly, I didn't even want to use you guys, with your dip and velcro and all your gear bullshit. I wanted to drop a bomb. But people didn't believe in this lead enough to drop a bomb. So they're using you guys as canaries...
[Marty and Doc observe George's incompetence in 1955] Dr. Emmett Brown: Which one's your pop? Marty McFly: [points him out] That's him. [they see him getting kicked around by other school bullies] George McFly: [has a "kick me" sign on his back] Okay...
Jesse: Well, I was driving around with this buddy of mine, he was a big atheist, and we came to a stop, next to this homeless guy. And my buddy takes out a 100 dollar bill, and leans out the window, and he says, "Do you believe in God?". And the guy ...
Something happened during Matt's talk. When I sat down I was one person, but by the time he was done, I was someone else. Someone changed. Someone new. Someone I didn't know. My arms were covered in gooseflesh. My stomach was doing this buoyant, top-...
Art is good, bad, boring, ugly, useful to us or not.
I'm horrible at remembering names, embarrassingly bad.
