Maybe I'm delusional but I'm usually funny. It's not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.
Adam CarollaOnce you get past funny, my other qualities are so below average. It's not like I'm handy.
Seth MeyersUnfortunately, the average guy on the street believes that studying evolution leads to atheism.
Greg GraffinThe average American's day planner has fewer holes in it than Ray Charles's dart board.
Dennis Miller