Quotes of: Average-guy Keyword

When a guy at the urinal says to me, "If you shake it more than twice, you're playing with it," I like to look over at him, grab his ass, and say, "Shh. I'm about to cum.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

This morning my car wouldn’t start. I guess that’s better than if my car wouldn’t stop. As a lover I’m a bring-my-own-bicycle kind of guy.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

If I ever do get married," Tariq said, "they'll have to make room for three on the wedding stage. Me, the bride, and the guy holding the gun to my head

A Thousand Splendid Suns

If I had the word “war” in my last name, like “Flowar,” I’d probably be a peaceful guy.

This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

I heard you calling out to me, but I almost didn’t reply because you were using another guy’s name.

This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

There's this total manwhore phenomenon happening, where even the geeks are player now. It's like Manhattan is this giant playground and guys want to keep playing forever.

Take Me There

Teagan: How long has it been since you read a book that didn’t havevampires in it? Abby: They write books with no vampires? Wait...the penguins made us read that Shakesrear guy, right? Teagan: Shakespeare.

Tyger Tyger

Courage. I need courage. Because this is surely the stupidest idea in the history of guys liking girls.

Ten Things I Hate about You

A few Paris blocks away I led a completely normal life with my sister & grandparents. And here I was sword fighting with dead guys.

Until I Die

Have you ever had a girlfriend, Kenji?" "What?" He looks mortally offended. "Do I like the kind of guy who's never had a girlfriend? Have you even me?

Unravel Me

Just because he’s a guy doesn’t mean he and I can’t be just friends.” “And just because you don’t have to insert batteries into him doesn’t mean you can’t be more.

Vibrizzio

I can kill a bad guy, but I can't save anyone. I'm not a hero. All I am is a killer. A dead killer who shit his pants.

Vigilante Day

Facebook is that successful guy you’re supposed to want to date, but you can’t keep your mind off the beautiful freak in the corner. Twitter is my freak.

Write like no one is reading 2

It didn’t take much to turn a man solitary-being the new guy too often, being controversial now and then, a couple of unsuccessful attempts at a lasting relationship with a woman…

The Wanderer

I'm friends with a guy who is friends with a former Playboy model. So I guess you could say I'm 1 degree away from 212 degrees.

Write like no one is reading

She had a thing for cocky assholes. When they expressed interest in her it seemed meaningful. When nice guys hit on her, she had trouble caring. 

What She Saw...

If I were hairy, would you vacuum my chest before we made love? I’d probably have enough chip crumbs in it to feed the homeless, because I’m a charitable kind of guy.

Xazaqazax

We no longer know each other. Hell, I barely know myself these days. I brush my teeth and look in the mirror and think, “Who is this guy taking care of my oral hygiene?

Xazaqazax

I'm weird. I'm not too focused on the physicality of a man. They just have to become my best friend, and then I start to get attracted to them. I've never been in a bar and just hit on a guy and started kissing him; I've never done that in my life.

Ana de la Reguera

Truthfully, this is how I approach my workout: I want to be the best athlete I can possibly be. If I can out-perform some of the better athletes then I'm happy. When I look at the NFL or the NBA, these guys look how I want to look - it's useable, fun...

Channing Tatum

I love what I do. I love to capture the guy. I love to tell the victim 'Don't worry anymore. They're in jail.' And this is my way to heaven. This is my way to contribute to America what I know how to do best, and that's chase down the predator.

Duane Chapman