Mother: [gets on the phone] Hello, Mrs. Schwartz? Yes, I'm fine. Uh, Mrs. Schwartz, do you know what Ralph just said? [Mrs. Schwartz's speech is inaudible] Mother: No, he said... [whispers it close to the receiver] Mrs. Schwartz: [in a hysterical ton...
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: [talking on phone] Bunny? We're making another movie! Yes. I got the Baptist Church of Beverly Hills to put up the cash! Paul Marco: [knocking on door] Ed, I got the Lugosi doubles outside! Edward D. Wood, Jr.: Bunny, I gotta go....
Lieutenant Daniel Taylor: That's what all these cripples down at the VA talk about: Jesus this and Jesus that, have I found Jesus yet? They even had a priest come and talk to me. He said God is listening and if I found Jesus, I'd get to walk beside h...
[Pvt. Joker is doing pull-ups. Hartman counts them off] Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: One for the Commandant! One for the Corps! Come on Joker, pull! Pull! [Pvt. Joker can't complete another pull-up] Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: I guess the Corps don't get ...
Professor Moody: Let's have another curse. C'mon, c'mon. [Neville's hand slowly goes up, and Moody calls on him] Professor Moody: Longbottom, isn't it? Professor Sprout tells me you have an aptitude for Herbology. Neville: Th-there's um... the Crucia...
Mr. Ollivander: Curious... very curious... Harry: Sorry, but what's curious? Mr. Ollivander: I remember every wand I've ever sold, Mr. Potter. It so happens that the phoenix whose tailfeather resides in your wand gave another feather... just one othe...
Lucius: Honey? Honey: What? Lucius: Where's my super suit? Honey: What? Lucius: Where - is - my - super - suit? Honey: I, uh, put it away. [helicopter explodes outside] Lucius: *Where*? Honey: *Why* do you *need* to know? Lucius: I need it! [Lucius r...
Jerry Langford: Alright, look pal, I gotta tell you... this is a crazy business, but it's not unlike any other business. There are ground rules, and you don't just walk on to a network show without experience. Now I know it's an old, hackneyed expres...
Galadriel: The power of the Three Rings is ended. The time has come... for the dominion of Men. Elrond: I Aear c?n ven na mar. [Elvish: The Sea calls us home] Bilbo: I think I'm... quite ready for another adventure. [Climbs on board with Elrond. Gala...
[first lines] Waldo Lydecker: [narrating off screen] I shall never forget the weekend Laura died. A silver sun burned through the sky like a huge magnifying glass. It was the hottest Sunday in my recollection. I felt as if I were the only human being...
Phil Parma: When was the last time you talked to your son? Earl Partridge: ...I don't know. Ten, maybe... five... *moans*... that's another thing that goes... Phil Parma: Your memory? Earl Partridge: Time lines, you know? I remember things, but not.....
Kate Grant: [looking at graves] There's Woody's little sister, Rose. She was only nineteen when she was killed in a car wreck near Wausa. What a whore! David Grant: Mom! Kate Grant: Nah, I liked Rose, but my God, she was a slut. David Grant: C'mon......
Rusty: I need the reason. And don't say money. Why do this? Danny: Why not do it? [Rusty shakes his head] Danny: Cause yesterday I walked out of the joint after losing four years of my life and you're cold-decking "Teen Beat" cover boys. [pause] Dann...
[Peter is wearing shorts, sandals and a paisley shirt, with his feet up on his desk, munching chips and playing tetris on his computer] Bill Lumbergh: So, Peter, what's happening? Aahh, now, are you going to go ahead and have those TPS reports for us...
Dot: [GASPS after seeing Nathan Jr] What's his name? Ed McDonnough: Uh... Hi... Hi Junior, till we think of a better one. Dot: Why don't ya call him Jason? l just love biblical names. If I had another little boy, I'd name him Jason, Caleb or Tab. [GA...
Frank Stark: We give you love and affection, don't we? Well, then, what is it? Was it because we went to that party? Well, you know what kind of drunken brawls those kind of parties turn into. It's not a place for kids. Mrs. Carol Stark: A minute ago...
[first lines] Student: If, and only if, both sides of the numerator is divisible by the inverse of he square root of the two unassigned variable. School Professor: Good. Except when the value of the "X" coordinate is equal to or less than the value o...
LaBoeuf: You are getting ready to show your ignorance now, Cogburn. I don't mind a little personal chaffing but I won't hear anything against the Ranger troop from a man like you.L Rooster Cogburn: How long have you boys been mounted on sheep down th...
General Ralph Landry: You know, when they forced Khruschev out, he sat down and wrote two letters to his successor. He said - "When you get yourself into a situation you can't get out of, open the first letter, and you'll be safe. When you get yourse...
Woody: Listen, lightsnack, you stay away from Andy. He's mine, and no one is taking him away from me. Buzz: What are you talking about? Where's that bonding strip? [slides under his ship with a skateboard] Woody: [pulls him back out] And another thin...
Terence Fletcher: Were you rushing or were you dragging? Andrew: I-I don't know. Terence Fletcher: Start counting! Andrew: Five, six... Terence Fletcher: In four, dammit! Look at me! Andrew: One, two, three, four. [Fletcher slaps him the face] Andrew...
