My love is like an empty bottle of wine. If you’re wondering, my ex wife drank it all.
A Zebra is the Piano of the Animal KingdomShe told me to draw the curtains shut, so I grabbed my pencil and began to sketch.
A Zebra is the Piano of the Animal KingdomI was once in a battle trying to fight my way out when I realized it’s better to sneak out.
A Zebra is the Piano of the Animal KingdomIf zombies eat brains, then they’d love me, because who doesn’t like a buffet?
A Zebra is the Piano of the Animal KingdomMy trash can got stolen five times. Finally the owner just let me have it.
A Zebra is the Piano of the Animal KingdomToo much much is a dangerous thing. But not as dangerous as danger itself.
A Zebra is the Piano of the Animal KingdomI want more sleep. It won’t happen, but I can dream, right?
A Zebra is the Piano of the Animal KingdomSome men eat dinner with silverware. Some use chopsticks. I prefer zippers.
A Zebra is the Piano of the Animal KingdomYou can have your cake, but you can’t eat it. You have to sit there and watch me scarf it down.
A Zebra is the Piano of the Animal KingdomBoxes of toilet paper make the best birthday presents. They really show I give a shit.
A Zebra is the Piano of the Animal KingdomWould you rather have sight, or insight? I’d rather have a double cheeseburger.
A Zebra is the Piano of the Animal KingdomIt’s not true that selling stolen goods has no overhead. Prison’s got a ceiling.
A Zebra is the Piano of the Animal KingdomI just started seeing someone, which is a relief, because the last girl I dated was invisible.
A Zebra is the Piano of the Animal Kingdom