Mr. Turkentine: Charlie Bucket, how many did you open? Charlie Bucket: Two. Mr. Turkentine: That's easy. 200 is twice 100... Charlie Bucket: Not 200, just two. Mr. Turkentine: Two? What do you mean you only opened two? Charlie Bucket: I don't care ve...
Marwood: How come Monty owns such a horrible little shack? Withnail: No idea. Marwood: You never discuss your family do you? Withnail: I fail to see my family's of any interest to you. I've absolutely no interest in yours. I dislike relatives in gene...
[Marwood is in the pub toilets, after walking past a hulking Irishman who's called him a ponce] Marwood: [voiceover] I could hardly piss straight with fear. Here was a man with 3/4 of an inch of brain who'd taken a dislike to me. What had I done to o...
Marwood: Where is he? Withnail: Sulking up the hill. He says he won't come in for lunch without an apology. Marwood: Suits me, he can eat his fucking radish. Uncle Monty: [suddenly appearing at Marwood's shoulder] It's all your fault. You lead him as...
Withnail: [on the way to the cottage] At some point or another I want to stop and get hold of a child. Marwood: What do you want a child for? Withnail: To tutor it in the ways of righteousness, and procure some uncontaminated urine. [holding up a Fai...
Captain: 12:30? AUTO, why didn't you wake me for morning announcements? Honestly, it's the one thing I get to do on this ship. [Resets the ship back to morning] Captain: Well, good morning, everybody, and welcome to day 255,642 aboard the Axiom. As a...
Miss Gulch: [stopping bicycle and getting off] Gale? Uncle Henry Gale: Well, howdy, Miss Gulch. Miss Gulch: [comes into the Gales' yard] I want to see you and your wife right away about Dorothy! Uncle Henry Gale: Dorothy? Well, what has Dorothy done?...
Captain of the Winkie Guard: [after the Wicked Witch has melted] She's... She's dead. You killed her. Dorothy: I didn't mean to kill her. Really, I didn't. It's just that he was on fire. Captain of the Winkie Guard: Hail to Dorothy! The Wicked Witch ...
Brendan Conlon: That's Tess. And that's Emily and Rosie. They're your nieces, Tommy. Tom Conlon: Don't know 'em. Brendan Conlon: I know you don't know them. Of course you don't know them. Tom Conlon: Why am I looking at pictures of people I don't kno...
Paddy Conlon: Come on, kiddo. I've been there. I've done it. I've seen it. You can trust me. I'll understand. Tom Conlon: Spare me the compassionate father routine, Pop. The suit don't fit. Paddy Conlon: I'm really trying here, Tommy. Tom Conlon: You...
Wreck-It Ralph: What's going on in this candy-coated heart of darkness? Sour Bill: Nothing... Wreck-It Ralph: Talk! Sour Bill: No! Wreck-It Ralph: I'll lick you. Sour Bill: You wouldn't. Wreck-It Ralph: Oh, yeah? [licks Bill] Sour Bill: Ugh! That's l...
Eddie Valiant: You crazy rabbit! I'm out there risking my neck for you, and what are you doing? Singing and dancing! Roger Rabbit: But I'm a toon. Toons are supposed to make people laugh. Eddie Valiant: Sit down! Roger Rabbit: You don't understand. T...
R.K. Maroon: How much do you know about show business, Mr. Valiant? Eddie Valiant: Only that there is no business like it, no business I know. R.K. Maroon: Yeah. And there's no business more expensive. I'm 25 grand over budget on the latest Baby Herm...
Eddie Valiant: Weren't you the one I caught playing pattycake with old man Acme? Jessica Rabbit: You didn't catch me, Mr. Valiant. You were set up to take those pictures. Eddie Valiant: What are you talking about? Jessica Rabbit: Maroon wanted to bla...
Roger Rabbit: When you called Maroon, you told him you had the will, but you don't. When he finds out, he's gonna be mad. He might try to kill you. Eddie Valiant: I can handle a Hollywood cream puff. I just don't want the odds to change. You stay her...
Jordan Belfort: Oh my God! You had to deal with the Golf Course people too! What a greek tragedy! Honey oh my God!, you probably had to pay them in cash with your hands! What a fucking burden, and actually had to do some work besides swiping my fucki...
Jordan Belfort: [on getting arrested] I'm sober for two years, stopped my drugs, settled down with my wife and kids, and then this happens! Rugrat gets busted down in Miami, and guess who happens to be with him? Saurel! That's right, out of all the S...
Sally Albright: Amanda mentioned you had a dark side. Harry Burns: That's what drew her to me. Sally Albright: Your dark side? Harry Burns: Sure. Why? Don't you have a dark side? I know, you're probably one of those cheerful people who dot their "i's...
Harry Burns: There are two kinds of women: high maintenance and low maintenance. Sally Albright: Which one am I? Harry Burns: You're the worst kind; you're high maintenance but you think you're low maintenance. Sally Albright: I don't see that. Harry...
Sally Albright: Well, if you must know, it was because he was very jealous, and I had these days of the week underpants. Harry Burns: Ehhhh. I'm sorry. I need the judges ruling on this. "Days of the weeks underpants"? Sally Albright: Yes. They had th...
Tony: You're not thinking I'm someone else? Maria: I know you are not. Tony: Or that we've met before? Maria: I know we have not. Tony: I felt, I knew something never before was going to happen, had to happen. But this is so much more. Maria: My hand...
