Ode to Douglas Adams In the solar system we inhabit, we live on a small planet we all call Earth. Okay, when I say small, I mean it’s small compared to say, oh, Jupiter. Earth is something like a dime compared to Jupiter’s beach ball. On this Ear...
Ask him about the cemeteries, Dean!" In 1966 upon being told that President Charles DeGaulle had taken France out of NATO and that all U.S. troops must be evacuated off of French soil President Lyndon Johnson mentioned to Secretary of State Dean Rusk...
Tony Wendice: How about coming with me to a stag party? Mark Halliday: A stag party? Tony Wendice: Yes, some American boys have been playing tennis all over the country. We're giving them a sort of farewell dinner. Mark Halliday: Sounds great, but I'...
Margaret Campbell: You're an honor student. If you transfer to Mrs. Gruwell's class, think how that'll reflect on your records. Victoria: It doesn't matter to me, my grades will still be the same. Look, Ms. Campbell, when I first transferred to this ...
Behrani: [Praying for his dying son] Please, God, don't take my joon-am. I make my nazr. My nazr, hear me, please to hear me. I will give everything to one who is less fortunate. Yes! I will make it for the broken bird. Please, God, I'm making nazr t...
Bridget von Hammersmark: There have been two recent developments regarding Operation Kino. One, the venue has been changed from the Ritz to a much smaller venue. Lt. Aldo Raine: Enormous changes at the last minute? That's not very Germatic. Why the h...
Tony Stark: I never got to say goodbye to my father. There's questions I would've asked him. I would've asked him how he felt about what his company did, if he was conflicted, if he ever had doubts. Or maybe he was every inch of man we remember from ...
O-Ren Ishii: [after she cuts off Tanaka's head, in Japanese] So you all will know the seriousness of my warning, I shall say this in English. O-Ren Ishii: [in English] As your leader, I encourage you from time to time, and always in a respectful mann...
Henryk Szpilman: What's the matter with you all, huh? You lost your sense of humor? Wladyslaw Szpilman: That's not funny. Henryk Szpilman: Well, you know what's funny? You're funny, with that ridiculous tie. Wladyslaw Szpilman: [getting angry] What'r...
Henry Gatewood: [clutching valise with embezzled funds] I can't get over the impertinence of that young lieutenant. I'll make it warm for that shake-tail! I'll report him to Washington - we pay taxes to the government and what do we get? Not even pro...
General: Now each battalion has a specific code-name and mission. Battalion 5, raise your hands! [all the African American members put up their hands including Chef] General: You will be the all important first defense wave, which we will call "Opera...
Gordon Gekko: The richest one percent of this country owns half our country's wealth, five trillion dollars. One third of that comes from hard work, two thirds comes from inheritance, interest on interest accumulating to widows and idiot sons and wha...
[at the dinner table] Carolyn Burnham: Your father and I were just discussing his day at work. Why don't you tell our daughter about it, honey? Lester Burnham: Janie, today I quit my job. And then I told my boss to go fuck himself, and then I blackma...
Angela Hayes: I'm serious. He just pulled down his pants and yanked it out. You know, like, "Say hello to Mr. Happy." Playground Girl #1: Gross. Angela Hayes: It wasn't gross. It was kinda cool. Playground Girl #1: So did you do it with him? Angela H...
Jim Olmeyer: Hello! We're your neighbors from two doors down and we just wanted to welcome you to the neighborhood! [hands the Colonel a gift basket] Jim "JB" Berkely: Everything's from our garden, except for the pasta. Jim Olmeyer: Yes, it's from Fi...
Brad Dupree: ...so I'm sure you can understand the need to cut corners around here. Lester Burnham: Sure. Times are tight, and you need to free up cash. Gotta spend money to make money. Brad Dupree: Exactly. Lester Burnham: Like when our editorial di...
Mama Lucas: You don't shoot cops. Even I know that. Eva knows it. The only one who DOESN'T seem to know is you. Frank Lucas: [ignores her pleas as he escorts her outside] All right, Mama. I'm not going to, I promise you. I'm not going to shoot anyone...
Joe: [waves for Curt to come over] Get down! OK now, you got it? I'm staying here, you're on your own. Curt Henderson: Wait a minute, wait a minute, Joe... wait a minute. What if he hears me? Joe: Shhh. Listen, listen! Look at it this way. Now, you g...
[first lines] Terry Fields: Hey, what do you say, Curt? Last night in town... you guys gonna have a little bash before you leave? Steve Bolander: The Moose have been looking for you all day. [hands a check to Curt] Steve Bolander: They got worried......
Otter: Point of parliamentary procedure! Hoover: Don't screw around, they're serious this time! Otter: Take it easy, I'm pre-law. Boon: I thought you were pre-med. Otter: What's the difference? [Addressing the room] Otter: Ladies and gentlemen, I'll ...
David Van Patten: They don't have a good bathroom to do coke in. Craig McDermott: Are you sure that's Paul Allen over there? Timothy Bryce: Yes. McDufus, I am. Craig McDermott: He's handling the Fisher account. Timothy Bryce: Lucky bastard. Craig McD...
