Hank Palmer: Did you know 90% of the country believes in ghosts? less than a third in evolution? 35% can correctly identify Homer Simpson's fictional town in which he resides, less than 1% knows the name Thurgood Marshall. But... when you put 12 Amer...
Major Strasser: We have a complete dossier on you: Richard Blaine, American, age 37. Cannot return to his country. The reason is a little vague. We also know what you did in Paris, Mr. Blaine, and also we know why you left Paris. [hands the dossier t...
Alex: You make sex often with American girl? Jonathan: Not really. Alex: What is mean by "not really?" Jonathan: I'm not a priest, but I'm not John Holmes either. Alex: I have heard of this John Holmes. He has premium penis. Jonathan: Yes, he did. Al...
Jim: If the Americans land, the Japanese will fight. Dr. Rawlins: You admire the Japanese? Jim: Well, they're brave, aren't they? Dr. Rawlins: That's important, is it, Jim? Jim: It's a good thing if you want to win a war. Dr. Rawlins: But we don't wa...
[last lines] Joe: Mmh. Well, guess your government will be glad to see that gold back. Silvanito: And you? You don't want to be here when they get it, eh? Joe: You mean the Mexican goverment on one side? Maybe the Americans on the other side? Me righ...
Title Card: In WW2 American tanks were outgunned and out armored by the more advanced German tanks. US tank crewmen suffered staggering losses against the superior enemy vehicles. Title Card: It is April 1945. The Allies fight deep in the heart of Na...
Hawkeye Pierce: All right! I demand an explanation. Hawkeye Pierce: Someone get that dirty old man out of this operating theater. Col. Wallace C. Merril: [taken aback] Dirty old man? I'm Colonel Merrill. Hawkeye Pierce: I don't care if you're Jack Ar...
[D.A. Trotter is making his preliminary remarks to the jury] D.A. Jim Trotter: You're the jury. It's your job to decide who's telling the truth. Truth. That's what 'verdict' means. It's a word comes down from Old England and all our little old ancest...
[In the middle of a desert. Clark is going crazy as he trots through the hills. Two native Americans on horses watch him] Clark: We pass a damn gas station every hundred yards for a thousand miles, but when you really need one, you end up walking you...
Steele: I want Rudy to dress in my place Coach. He deserves it. Dan Devine: [laughs] Don't be ridiculous, Georgia Tech is one of the top offense teams in the country. [Steele continues to stand and stare at the Devine] Dan Devine: You are an All-Amer...
President Merkin Muffley: I will not go down in history as the greatest mass-murderer since Adolf Hitler. General "Buck" Turgidson: Perhaps it might be better, Mr. President, if you were more concerned with the American People than with your image in...
Jordan Belfort: [in thoughts] What I'm asking, you Swiss dick, is are you going to fuck me over? Jean Jacques Saurel: [also in thoughts] I understand perfectly, you American shit, Jean Jacques Saurel: Ça depend. Jordan Belfort: Ça depend on what ex...
Harry Burns: Had my dream again where I'm making love, and the Olympic judges are watching. I'd nailed the compulsories, so this is it, the finals. I got a 9.8 from the Canadians, a perfect 10 from the Americans, and my mother, disguised as an East G...
Dr. Sebastian Shaw: Look, I think all this anti-mutant protesting underscored the genuine growing concern among most Americans. I think mutant registration... Dr. Hank McCoy: But why stop there? Maybe it would be easier to round up mutants by the tru...
Catering Boss: I'm not paying you to do... whatever it is you're doing out here. Ricky Fitts: Fine. So don't pay me. Catering Boss: Excuse me? Ricky Fitts: I quit. So you don't have to pay me. Now leave me alone. Catering Boss: ...asshole. Lester Bur...
Carolyn Burnham: What are you doing? Lester Burnham: Nothing. Carolyn Burnham: You were masturbating! Lester Burnham: I was not. Carolyn Burnham: Yes you were! Lester Burnham: Oh, all right! So shoot me, I was whacking off! That's right, I was chokin...
Colonel Frank Fitts: Where's your wife? Lester Burnham: Uh, I dunno. Probably out fucking that dorky, prince-of-real-estate asshole. And you know what? I don't care. Colonel Frank Fitts: Your wife is with another man and you don't care? Lester Burnha...
Mr. Smiley's Manager: I don't think you'd fit in here. Lester Burnham: I have fast food experience. Mr. Smiley's Manager: Yeah, like twenty years ago! Lester Burnham: Well, I'm sure there have been amazing technological advances in the industry, but ...
Carolyn Burnham: Lester I refuse to live like this! This is not a marriage! Lester Burnham: This hasn't been a marriage, for years, but you were happy as long as I kept my mouth shut. Well guess what, I've changed! And the new me whacks off when he f...
Sale House Woman #4: The ad said this pool was lagoon-like. There's nothing lagoon-like about it, except for the bugs. There aren't even any plants out here! Carolyn Burnham: What do you call this? Is this not a plant? If you have a problem with my p...
Detective Trupo: Did you pay your bills, Frank? Frank Lucas: I don't know what you're talking about. Detective Trupo: You pay your bills, I asked you? Frank Lucas: Look, if you're not getting your share Detective Trupo: [interupts] What's my share? C...
