Congress must live by the laws it writes, and cannot expect to be treated differently from everyday Americans. I'm disappointed that President Obama and his staff refuse to join the health care exchanges that he forced upon millions of Americans. If ...
There is a very definite Russian heart in me; that never dies. I think you're born and you live your life with it and you die with it. I'm very much an American - my books tend to be about American things, but inside there's that sort of tortured, lo...
Vice President Joe Biden believes that illegal immigrants are citizens. Obama believes that some Americans who join Islamist groups are citizens, while others are not. Who is an American? Whomever the executive branch deems an American. Who isn't? It...
Cultural wisdom says 'Don't quit your day job.' Yet I think these desires represent our psyche's stretch toward wholeness. And to be whole, as many religious tranditions teach, is to make manifest a unique face of God in the world. We don't want to b...
To those who will decide if he should be tried for 'high crimes and misdemeanors' -the House of Representatives- And to those who would sit in judgment at such a trial if the House impeaches -the Senate- And to the man who would preside at such an im...
a father for whom everything is an unshakable duty, for whom there is a right way and a wrong way and nothing in between, a father whose compound of ambitions, biases, and beliefs is so unruffled by careful thinking that he isn’t as easy to escape ...
His [Thomas Edison] method was inefficient in the extreme, for an immense ground had to be covered to get anything at all unless blind chance intervened and, at first, I was almost a sorry witness of his doings, knowing that just a little theory and ...
Satan: You have spilt the blood of the innocence, now begins 2,000,000 years of darkness! Chef: [sarcastically] Oh, good job, Mrs. Broslofski! Thanks a lot! Sheila Broslofski: [innocently] I was just trying to make the world a better place for childr...
Real Harvey: [the real Harvey Pekar introduces his on-screen character] OK. This guy here, he's our man, all grown up and going nowhere. Although he's a pretty scholarly cat, he never got much of a formal education. For the most part, he's lived in s...
I want to understand the elements that compose courage in the same way I understand the periodic table. I feel that by knowing the periodic table of courage I can be courageous, at least periodically.
I want to scream sometimes, because I hate when people refer to a dead person as the “late” so and so. I’m sorry to break that bad news, but that person isn’t just late—they’re not even coming!
Before I die, I want to change my name to "Here," so that my tombstone could simply read, "Here lies." And then people who knew me could walk by, shake their head, and say, "Ain't that the truth.
I want to grow a flower for every time someone tells me “F*** you.” Then I’ll go back to that person and pin the flower on their lapel in a gesture of friendship. And while they are looking down on it in astonishment, I’ll bunch up my knuckle...
I want to be in the Guinness Book of World Record’s for something ridiculous like juggling poison-tipped porcupines, playing the piano blindfolded while tightrope walking in tights, or throwing a rubber ball in a circular rim adorned with a danglin...
I want to start a band called "Friday Have Been Cancelled" and then hold open auditions every Friday. The sign will read, "Auditions For Friday Have Been Cancelled." I sure hope nobody shows up because I certainly won't be there.
If it does not kill you, it will bring you happiness.
The lazy ox drinks dirty water.
The river is my brother for it carries my canoe.
The baby who doesn't cry isn't nursed.
Widows weep but they look for another husband.
Jobs follow people. People don't follow jobs.
