Quentin: Gentlemen, I have some good news and some bad news. Which would you prefer? Thick Kevin: Good news. Quentin: Okay. The good news is the engine has exploded and we're all going to die. Dave: Hello, Dr Dave, Radio Rock. How is that good news? ...
Charles Van Doren: They gave me the answers. Mark Van Doren: They gave you the answers... they gave YOU the answers? Charles Van Doren: Well, no... no, at first they'd ask me questions they already knew I knew the answers to. We ran through those, an...
Cornwall Cousins: Charles, is Jack Barry single? Charles Van Doren: I think so. Cornwall Cousins: My roommate has a huge crush on him, she wants you to introduce her. Cornwall Cousins: What's Dave Garroway like? Charles Van Doren: Cheap. Cornwall Aun...
Dot: [GASPS after seeing Nathan Jr] What's his name? Ed McDonnough: Uh... Hi... Hi Junior, till we think of a better one. Dot: Why don't ya call him Jason? l just love biblical names. If I had another little boy, I'd name him Jason, Caleb or Tab. [GA...
H.I.: That night, I had a dream. I drifted off thinking about happiness, birth and new life, But now I was haunted by a vision of... He was horrible. The lone biker of apocalypse. A man with all the powers of Hell at his command. He could turn turn t...
Michael: What's wrong now? Hanna Schmitz: Nothing's wrong. Nothing. Michael: You know, you never ask. You never bother to ask how *I* am! Hanna Schmitz: You never say. Michael: It just happens to be my birthday. It's my birthday, that's all! In fact,...
[Following Lauda's press conference, Hunt approaches the British journalist that offended Lauda] British Journalish: James, are you all right? James Hunt: Good, yeah. Listen, I think I've got something for you on that last question, about Niki. Briti...
Pancho Barnes: What are you two rookies gonna have? Gordon Cooper: Rookies? Now hold on, sis. You are looking at a whole new ballgame here now. In fact, in a couple of years, I bet you're even gonna immortalize us by putting our pictures up there on ...
Anton Ego: [running his finger through leftover sauce and licking it] I can't remember the last time I asked to give my compliments to the chef. And now I find myself in the extraordinary position of having my waiter *be* the chef! Linguini: Thanks, ...
Coach Yoast: This isn't about me, I'm worried about my boys. Coach Boone: Well I'm not going to cut 'em and eat 'em. The best player will play, color won't matter. Coach Yoast: From the looks of our little situation we got us here, I think that's abo...
Sefton: I told you boys I'm no escape artist. For the first time, I like the odds, because now I got me a decoy. Hoffy: What's the decoy? Sefton: Price. When I go, I want you to give me five minutes - exactly five minutes - to get Dunbar out of that ...
[picks up the phone] David Mills: Hello? John Doe: I admire you. I don't know how you found me, but imagine my surprise. I respect you law enforcement agents more everyday. David Mills: Well, I appreciate that... John. I tell you... John Doe: No, no,...
Major T. J. "King" Kong: Survival kit contents check. In them you'll find: one forty-five caliber automatic; two boxes of ammunition; four days' concentrated emergency rations; one drug issue containing antibiotics, morphine, vitamin pills, pep pills...
General Jack D. Ripper: Mandrake, do you recall what Clemenceau once said about war? Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: No, I don't think I do, sir, no. General Jack D. Ripper: He said war was too important to be left to the generals. When he said that, 50...
Shaun: Well maybe one should do the other, and then do themselves. Liz: Oh maybe you should do me, I'll only muck it up if I have to do myself. [Shaun mimes shooting Liz and then himself, to see how it feels] Shaun: You know, I don't think I've got i...
Red: [narrating] I wish I could tell you that Andy fought the good fight, and the Sisters let him be. I wish I could tell you that - but prison is no fairy-tale world. He never said who did it, but we all knew. Things went on like that for awhile - p...
Mrs. Lovett: Mr. T, you didn't! [looks into the chest, sees Pirelli's dead body and gasps. Shuts it] Mrs. Lovett: You're barking mad! Killing a man what done ya no harm! Sweeney Todd: [polishing his razor] He recognized me from the old days. Tried to...
Mrs. Cunningham: You know, I read of a case once. I think it would be a wonderful idea! I can take him out in the car, and when we get to a very lonely spot, knock him on the head with a hammer, pour gasoline over him and over the car, and set the wh...
Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: I may throw up on ya. James T. Kirk: I think these things are pretty safe. Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: Don't pander to me, kid. One tiny crack in the hull and our blood boils in thirteen seconds. Solar flare might crop up, cook us i...
James T. Kirk: What are you doing? Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: I'm doing you a favor. I couldn't just leave you there looking all pathetic. Take a seat. I'm gonna give you a vaccine against viral infection from Melvaren mud fleas. James T. Kirk: OW! What ...
[Tristan and Yvaine are imprisoned in the pirate ship] Yvaine: Tell me about Victoria, then. Tristan: Well, she... she... There's nothing more to tell you. Yvaine: The little I know about love is that it's unconditional. It's not something you can bu...