Max Belfort: [hears a phone] Who the fuck has the goddamn gall to call this house on a Tuesday night? God damn it! Leah Belfort: [watching TV] You're going to miss it! Max Belfort: Tell me something I don't know, I wait all week for the fucking Equal...
Bud Fox: Hi, Marv. Marv: [sarcastically] Oh, hi. Say, why don't YOU get the hell out of MY office! Bud Fox: I know I've been a bit of a schmuck lately and I just want to apologize. Marv: You've been a *real* schmuck lately. So go thou and sin no more...
Townsman: [Book, dressed in Amish clothes, has just finished severely beating a local youth who was harassing Daniel Hochleitner] Never seen anything like it in all my years! Daniel Hochleitner: He's from Ohio, my cousin. Townsman: Well, them Ohio Am...
Raven Darkholme: [in mutant form] Could you pass me my robe? Erik Lehnsherr: You don't have to hide. [Erik moves and sits besides Raven on the bed] Erik Lehnsherr: Have you ever looked at a tiger and thought you ought to cover it up? Raven Darkholme:...
Erik Lehnsherr: A man from the future came to me. Raven: Don't lie to me! Erik Lehnsherr: I never have, and I never will! He said the humans would take your blood and use it as a weapon against us, to wipe us all out! Raven: In that case, how'd you l...
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Are you ready? Igor: Are you sure this is how they did it? Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Yes! It's all written down in the notes! Now tie off the kites and hurry down as fast as you can! Igor: What's the hurry? Dr. Frederick...
Dan: I need a favor. Kuwaiti Businessman: Why I should help you? Dan: Because we're friends. Kuwaiti Businessman: You saying we are friends? How come you only call me when you need help? But when I need something you are too busy to pick up the phone...
Juror #10: Oh, listen, I don't see what all this stuff about the knife has got to do with anything. Somebody saw the kid stab his father, what more do we need? You guys can talk the ears right off my head, you know what I mean? I got three garages of...
Floyd's Daughter: Hello? Dr. Floyd: Hello! Floyd's Daughter: Hello. Dr. Floyd: How're you doing, squirt? Floyd's Daughter: All right. Dr. Floyd: What are you doing? Floyd's Daughter: Playing. Dr. Floyd: Where's mommy? Floyd's Daughter: Gone to shoppi...
Xerxes: There will be no glory in your sacrifice. I will erase even the memory of Sparta from the histories! Every piece of Greek parchment shall be burned. Every Greek historian, and every scribe shall have their eyes pulled out, and their tongues c...
Daxos: I saw those ships smashed on the rocks. How can this be? Stelios: We saw but a fraction of the monster that is Xerxes' army. Daxos: There can be no victory here. Why do you smile? Stelios: Arcadian, I've fought countless times, yet I've never ...
McKenzie: Hey, don't you have like 20 cards to write by Friday? Tom: Nope, all done. McKenzie: Really? Well, could you help me with mine? Because I'm running out of ways to say "Congratulations". So far, I've got: "Congrats", "Good job" and "Well don...
Claudia: I don't understand. He meets a girl that can give him a new life and he pushes her away? Guido: Because he no longer believes in it. Claudia: Because he doesn't know how to love. Guido: Because it isn't true that a woman can change a man. Cl...
Jeffrey Lovell: Dad, did you know the astronauts in the fire? Jim Lovell: [pause] Yeah, I knew them. Knew all of them. Jeffrey Lovell: Could that happen again? Jim Lovell: Well, I'll tell you something about that fire, a lot of things went wrong. The...
John Laroche: Look, I'll tell you a story, all right? I once feel deeply, you know, profoundly in love with tropical fish. Had 60 goddamn fish tanks in my house. I skin dived to find just the right ones. Anisotremus virginicus, Holdacanthus ciliaris,...
John Laroche: [viewing an orchid at a flower show] Angraecum sesquipedale! A beauty! God! Darwin wrote about this one. Charles Darwin? Evolution guy? Hello? You see that nectary all the way down there? Darwin hypothesized a moth with a nose twelve in...
Margo Channing: She thinks only of me, doesn't she? Birdie: Well, let's say she thinks only about you, anyway. Margo Channing: How do you mean that? Birdie: I'll tell you how: like... like she's studying you, like you was a play or a book or a set of...
Robert Ford: I've been a nobody all my life. I was the baby; I was the one they made promises to that they never kept. And ever since I can recall it, Jesse James has been as big as a tree. I'm prepared for this, Jim. And I'm going to accomplish it. ...
[Detective Trupo notices Richie's plans to arrest Frank Lucas] Detective Trupo: What's this? Don't tell me you're actually gonna arrest Frank Lucas, are you? Detective Richie Roberts: What? Haven't you heard? We're all fucking crazy over here. You kn...
Ken Clawson: Please, listen, now, if you're going to refer to that alleged conversation with Sally Aiken, you can't print that it took place in her apartment. I have a wife and a family and a dog and a cat. Ben Bradlee: A wife and a family and a dog ...
Kilgore: Smell that? You smell that? Lance: What? Kilgore: Napalm, son. Nothing else in the world smells like that. [kneels] Kilgore: I love the smell of napalm in the morning. You know, one time we had a hill bombed, for 12 hours. When it was all ov...
