My youngest brother had a wonderful schtick from some time in high school, through to graduating medicine. He had a card in his wallet that read, ‘If I am found with amnesia, please give me the following books to read …’ And it listed half a do...
There is an open circle.” This mantra is what my high school coaches would say to me during wrestling practice when they knew that I was physically exhausted and was about to rest for a moment. There was an open circle on the wrestling mat, and if ...
You’ll pass through highs and lows in life, and somehow, somewhere, you’ll lose the urge to call him up everytime something good or bad happens. For every song that reminds you of him, you’ll find five new ones that remind you of something bett...
Prosecutor: Chicolini, you are charged with high treason, and if found guilty, you will be shot. Chicolini: I object. Prosecutor: You object? On what grounds? Chicolini: I couldn't think of anything else to say. Rufus T. Firefly: Objection sustained....
Capt. Ross: Your honor, it's become obvious that Lt. Kaffee's intention this afternoon are to smear a high ranking Marine officer in the desperate hope that the mere appearance of impropriety will win him points with the court members. Now, it is my ...
Richard 'Data' Wang: Hey I've got a great idea you guys! Slick shoes! Mikey, Mouth: [together] Slick shoes? ARE YOU CRAZY? Andy: DATA! Francis Fratelli: [Jake tries to push Francis over the log] DON'T PUSH JAKE! Jake Fratelli: I'm not pushing Franci...
Enid: [coming out of their high school graduation ceremony] God, what a bunch of retards. Rebecca: God, I know, I thought Chipmunk-face was never going to shut up. Enid: I know, I liked her so much better when she was an alcoholic crack addict. She g...
Maxine: It's really quite something to see you all grown-up like this, Enid. I'd love to know what you're doing now. I can't help but feel I had some small part in how you turned out. What're you studying? You were always such a smart little girl. En...
[first lines] Rob: What came first, the music or the misery? People worry about kids playing with guns, or watching violent videos, that some sort of culture of violence will take them over. Nobody worries about kids listening to thousands, literally...
Barry: How about the Jesus and Mary Chain? Barry's Customer: They always seemed... Barry: They always seemed what? They always seemed really great is what they always seemed. They picked up where your precious Echo left off, and you're sitting around...
Rob: My desert island, all-time, top-five most memorable breakups, in chronological order, are as follows: Alison Ashmore; Penny Hardwick; Jackie Alden; Charlie Nicholson; and Sarah Kendrew. Those were the ones that really hurt. Can you see your name...
George Bailey: I'm shakin' the dust of this crummy little town off my feet and I'm gonna see the world. Italy, Greece, the Parthenon, the Colosseum. Then, I'm comin' back here to go to college and see what they know. And then I'm gonna build things. ...
T.E. Lawrence: A thousand Arabs means a thousand knives, delivered anywhere day or night. It means a thousand camels. That means a thousand packs of high explosives and a thousand crack rifles. We can cross Arabia while Johnny Turk is still turning r...
Katsumoto: If I am no use, I will happily end my life. Emperor Meiji: No, I need your voice in the Council. Katsumoto: It is your voice we need, Highness. You are a living god. Do what you think is right. Emperor Meiji: [ruefully] I am a living god, ...
Daniel Dravot: Peachy, I'm heartily ashamed for gettin' you killed instead of going home rich like you deserved to, on account of me bein' so bleedin' high and bloody mighty. Can you forgive me? Peachy Carnehan: That I can and that I do, Danny, free ...
Dr. King: [At the sleep clinic, referring to the monitor's brainwave display] A nightmare now would be plus or minus five or six. She's about three. Marge: [Nancy begins twitching, as you hear Freddy's knives] Doctor, what's she doing now? Is she asl...
Peggy: Come on, let's see if you can guess who it is... Noodles: Charlotte russe, with a little too much whipped cream... Peggy. Peggy: Hey, you watch it, now! And my prices, they've gone up. I work in a high-class joint now, and I get paid by the po...
Vizzini: [Buttercup has jumped overboard and is in the water, trying to escape. Suddenly, horrible screeching is heard] Do you know what that sound is, Highness? Those are the shrieking eels! If you don't believe me, just wait. They always grow loude...
Sam: So, I'm guessing you've never been high before. Charlie: No. No, no, no. My best friend, Michael, his dad was a big drinker, so he hated all that stuff. Parties too. Sam: Well, where is Michael tonight? Charlie: Oh, he shot himself last May. I k...
Suzy Miller: He only wanted to show me his pride and joy. Rhymes with "boy", if you ask me. And "toy". God, it's so flimsy, for something that costs so much. There's no comfort, no protection, nothing. James Hunt: No, it's just a little coffin, reall...
Good Shopper Cashier: How old are you? Seth: ...22. Good Shopper Cashier: [looks skeptical for a second, then smiles] You certainly are! That'll be 80 dollars. Seth: Oh! Okay! [pulls money out of his sleeve] Seth: Pssha! Thank you kindly! Will that d...
