I believe in true love. But my opinion is tainted, because I also believe in Bigfoot, aliens, and in the existence of honest politicians.
We made love like I make grilled cheese sandwiches. I had no idea what I was doing, but she melted into me all the same.
My computer file is zipped, but my pants are not. Let us make love like 1968, before Al Gore invented the internet.
I don’t embark on journeys like the bark of a dog, but more like the bark of a tree. The path to love winds through a densely wooded forest.
We made love like Wednesday and Thursday, only Thursday wasn’t always on top. Her name was Yesterday, and today will always remind me of her.
In a cube of awesomeness, I am the lemonade of longing. My love has twelve edges, like a pack of razorblades to an edgy suicidal maniac.
It has been found that reading love quotes is beneficial to your health. It has been found by me, and I found it under my bed.
Making love to me is amazing. Wait, I meant: making love, to me, is amazing. The absence of two little commas nearly transformed me into a sex god.
Not many men will love you like me. Of course, I’m not many men. I’m just several men. Or I will be, once my clones arrive.
The best reason to fall in love is because you’re alive, your heart is open, and your wallet is empty. I prefer women with lots of money.
Our love was so hot it could melt the polar ice caps. In fact, my passion’s probably to blame for global warming.
We made love like green is blue. That’s because we were only half into it, though for the record I was the blue and she was the disinterested yellow.
The race is long, and I am sprinting. If I ever see her again, I’ll probably be too out of breath to tell her I love her.
I’m tired of calling @PapaJohns. I wish they’d call me for once. I’m starting to think they don’t love me.
I left the door open so you could come in—and I could go out. That’s what being in love is all about.
As soon as I walked in the door, I could tell she was in love. And seeing as she was packing up all her stuff, the only question I had was, With who?
If you want me to have sex with you, I’ll have sex with you. If you want me to love you, I’ll have sex with you.
We made love like a half a minute. I brought the thirty seconds, and she provided the excuse as to why she didn’t have enough time to have sex with me.
Love is seeing her smile as if it’s a sunrise. It’s beautiful, but geez, I wish she’d quit grinning at me while I’m trying to sleep.
When I’m not eating, sleeping, working, or doing a hundred other things, I’m making love. I need to arrange my priorities. Sleeping should be first.
The best day of the week to fall in love is always today. Today will happen again tomorrow, so I’m comfortable sleeping alone for the next 24 hours straight.
