Quotes of: Aging Keyword

There’s no room for love in my life. My car trunk is already full of groceries, a spare tire, and two kidnap victims.

Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

I knew we were destined to be lovers from the moment she tied me up and stuffed me in the trunk of her car.

Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

As a lover I aim to please, and afterwards I aim at the toilet. Sometimes I miss, but no matter what, you’ll always receive splatters of intimacy.

Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

Yesterday I shat rainbows until my anus started bleeding from a unicorn’s horn. 
Ah, the joys of being in love.

Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

I saw her from across the room, and I knew I was in love. I also knew why I’d seen no urinals, as I was clearly in the wrong bathroom.

Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

I think I found the love of my life. Boy, I’m glad I cleaned out my fish tank.

Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

I didn’t have time to grow out a beard, so I glued a wig on instead. I make love like a hare in a tortoise shell.

Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

We made love like steam meets mist. My memory is foggy, but I know I inhaled her essence like smoke.

Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

Don’t keep me in the dark—let me take off my honorary Helen Keller blindfold and let’s make love like we have no senses except nonsense.

Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

I’d dig a hole the size of the grand canyon to find a love the size of an acorn, and I’d use a shovel the size of a squirrel.

Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

My love smells like an empty mayonnaise jar. It ought to, because that’s where I store it. Coincidentally, my love also looks and tastes like mayonnaise.

Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

I drink coffee like other men paint pictures of naked women. I do it because I love the full body.

Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

A lightning bolt is sharper than an axe, because it’ll chop down a tree with one strike. My love is like that too—good for making firewood.

Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

We haven’t spoken in forever, but that doesn’t mean I still don’t love her. That’s what being in love with a mute is all about.

Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

I sing like a flower, and I dance like a tree. Let us make love like an overflowing cup of coffee.

Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

The Mile High City has mile-high expectations. That’s 5,280 feet, you know. That’s five millipedes and 2.8 centipedes for all you lovers out there.

Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

Imagine there is a balloon tied to a severed human hand. As it floats into the sky it flaps in the breeze, and whether you perceive it to be waving hello or goodbye determines whether you are in love.

Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

Today I had to cut my Silent and Still Statue Demonstration Ceremony short due to wind conditions. Tonight I’ll make love like a tornado.

Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

A person crying is like a sponge wringing itself out. Love is better than a sink that turns itself off without you having to touch the handle.

Love quotes for the ages. Specifically ages 18-81.

Love is bringing an empty Tupperware container on your date, not to hold leftovers from dinner, but just in case your date really has to shit.


Love Quotes for the Ages. Specifically Ages 19-91.

I’m so glad my date doesn’t think I’m ugly. I love blind dates where the woman is actually blind.


Love Quotes for the Ages. Specifically Ages 19-91.