After I wrote my memoir, 'A Long Way Gone,' I was a bit exhausted. I didn't want to write another memoir; I felt that it might not be sane for one to speak about himself for many, many, many years in a row. At the same time, I felt the story of 'Radi...
When I was a kid, we went to St. Augustine, Fla., and I was lying on the couch one night with a Q-tip, cleaning my ear out after I'd taken a shower. I hit my arm on something, jabbed the Q-tip through my ear drum, busted my ear drum and couldn't get ...
How do you top 'Mormon?' I get sent scripts all the time and I don't know what I would do next. What do you do after that? So I think if you do see me onstage, you'll see me in something dramatic, maybe, or you'll see me try my hand at something else...
The whole - it's the economy's bad. It's bad for everybody. I have my own comedy club. I opened it three years ago in a horrible economy. I created jobs. And we just started breaking even after a year and a half, barely. For that entire time, I have ...
Five years after Aerosmith got back together, I realized how fragile we are as humans. There was a time I thought we were bulletproof, but then things happened and I came to the realization that I had to play every gig as if it was my last show. You ...
I was bored at college, so I put $10 in a jukebox in this place where people played ping-pong and pool. I put in $10 of 'Jingle Bell Rock,' and this was back in the '90s, so it played 'Jingle Bell Rock,' like, 40 times in a row. It was just really fu...
My humour comes from acknowledging different communities. That's what my fans are responding to - they know that I 'get it.' I understand them. I take the time to understand them. I get more complaints from people when I don't talk about them. I've h...
When I was a kid, phone calls were a premium commodity; only the very coolest kids had a phone line of their own, and long-distance phone calls were made after eleven, when the rates went down, unless you were flamboyant with your spending. Then phon...
Randal Graves: [after the fire at the Quick Stop] Terrorists? [Dante shakes his head] Randal Graves: I left the coffee pot on again, didn't I? [Dante nods] Randal Graves: Shit! Now where am I gonna bring chicks to fuck when my mom's home?
Hannah: [after kissing him passionately] Do you remember me? Jacob: [fazed by the kiss] Yeah. Hannah: Do you still find me attractive? Jacob: Yes. Hannah: Do you still want to take me home? Jacob: Yeah. Hannah: Let's go.
[first lines] Newsreader: Day 1,000 of the Siege of Seattle. Newsreader: The Muslim community demands an end to the Army's occupation of mosques. Newsreader: The Homeland Security bill is ratified. After eight years, British borders will remain close...
[after Dola decides to let Pazu and Sheeta become pirates] Louis: [overjoyed] YES! No more swabbin' the decks! Hooray! Henri: I won't have to wash the dishes! Charles: I've peeled my last potato! YEE-HAW! Louis: WHOOPIE! Henri: WHEE! [they all fly ar...
Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] Over the years I got to be quite a connoisseur of soap. My personal preference was for Lux, but I found Palmolive had a nice, piquant after-dinner flavor - heady, but with just a touch of mellow smoothness. Life Buoy, on...
[from trailer] Alexander Pierce: Are you ready for the world to see you as you really are? Look out the window, you know how the game works: disorder, war, all it takes is one step. Steve Rogers: I thought the punishment usually came AFTER the crime.
[after everyone thinks that the wererabbit is dead and everyone is celebrating] Lord Victor Quartermaine: [whispering] I don't want to alarm anyone, but the beast isn't actually dead yet. PC McIntosh: [shouting through his loudspeaker] *The beast isn...
[first lines] Florida Prosecutor: Go on, Barbara. Barbara: We go back to our homeroom for dismissal. Unless you have a pass for sports or somethin'. Florida Prosecutor: And is that what you did on the day in question? Barbara: No. Mr. Gettys asked me...
[after slapping Blanche and holding her down] Driver: Now, you just got a little boy's father killed. And you almost got us killed. And now you're lying to me. So how about this? From now on, every word out of your mouth is the truth. Or I'm going to...
Oberleutnant: [after the telephone line is cut] Orders, sir? General der Artillerie Helmuth Weidling: I am to be shot. Oberleutnant: What? Why? General der Artillerie Helmuth Weidling: They believe I moved my command post to the West, away from the e...
[after E.T. learns how to talk] Mary: Gertie, I have to go pick up Elliot. Will you be a good girl and stay... Gertie: Mama, he can talk! Mary: [thinking she meant Elliot] Of course he can talk. I'll be right back in ten minutes. Stay there.
Nathan: C'mon buddy. After a long day of Turing tests you gotta unwind. Caleb: What were you doing with Ava? Nathan: What? Caleb: You tore up her picture. Nathan: I'm gonna tear up the f*in' dance floor, dude. Check it out.
Almásy: There is no God... but I hope someone looks after you. Madox: Just in case you're interested, it's called the suprasternal notch. Come and visit us in Dorset when all this nonsense is over. [Heads away but turns back] Madox: You'll never com...
