It's my conceit that perhaps some diseases perceived as diseases that destroy a well-functioning machine actually turn it into a new but still well-functioning machine with a different purpose. The AIDS virus: look at it from its point of view. Very ...
You better [start writing] now because you know how to write, and you have fingers, and you have this one life, and during this one life, you should put your words down, and make your voice heard, and then let others hear your voice. And the only way...
If Jesus had been an actual historical figure we have a thorny paradox. Either this Jesus was a remarkable individual who said and did a host of amazing, revolutionary things – but no one outside his fringe cult noticed for over a century. Or he di...
To love is a natural instinct. To be loved is “something”. To be loved like crazy, like their life depends on you is a once-in-a-lifetime feeling. How many of us can keep their right hand on their heart and say that they have actually experienced...
Leah: God you're getting huge. How many months has it been now? Juno MacGuff: Um it's coming up on the eighth. You should see me naked. Leah: I wish my funbags would get bigger. Juno MacGuff: Trust me, you don't. I actually have to wear a bra now and...
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: [after Thor Johnson bumps into a scenery wall while walking through a door making the wall shudder] Ok, and CUT! PERFECT! PRINT IT! Cameraman Bill: Don't you wanna do another take Ed? Seems like big baldy had some problems gettin...
Sam: Hey, I recognize you. Andrew Largeman: Oh, did you go to Columbia High? Sam: No, not from high school, from TV. Didn't you play the retarded quarterback? Andrew Largeman: Yeah. Sam: Are you really retarded? Andrew Largeman: No. Sam: Ooh, great j...
Kevin McCallister: I took a shower washing every body part with actual soap; including all my major crevices; including inbetween my toes and in my belly button, which I never did before but sort of enjoyed. I washed my hair with adult formula shampo...
Old Timer at Gas Station: [whistles at the Mercedes as Alan pumps gas] Boy, you've got a sweet ride there. Alan Garner: Don't touch it. Don't even look at it. Go on, get out. You heard me. Don't look at me, either. [the old man walks away] Alan Garne...
The Bride: Now, the incident that happened at the Two Pines Wedding Chapel that put this whole gory story into motion, has since become legend. "Massacre At Two Pines". That's what the newspapers called it. The local TV news called it, "The El Paso, ...
Harmony: You think I'm amazing. You do. Cause that's who I told you I'd be. That was the game plan. Harry: Yeah, well, you know what, it worked. Harmony: You know what? No one else thinks so. Harry: What, my opinion doesn't count? Harmony: Actually, ...
[Unhappy with Keith as a chemistry lab partner, Natalie speaks to the teacher] Mr. Miles: Keith is actually pretty sharp when he applies himself. Natalie: Okay, but we kinda... Mr. Miles: ...lack Chemistry? Natalie: Yeah. Mr. Miles: Try to make it wo...
[deleted scene; Daniel and Sam are discussing Sam's true love] Daniel: Option One: ask her out. Sam: Impossible. Daniel: Fair enough. Option Two: become her friend. Sam: She's the most popular girl in school and she hates boys. Daniel: Okay. Option T...
[Natalie, a secretary, is greeting the Prime Minister] Natalie: Hello, David. I mean "sir". Shit, I can't believe I've just said that. And now I've gone and said "shit" - twice. I'm so sorry, sir. Prime Minister: It's fine, it's fine. You could've sa...
Daniel: Tell her that you love her. Sam: No way! Anyway, they fly tonight. Daniel: Even better! Sam, you've got nothin' to lose, and you'll always regret it if you don't! I never told your mom enough. I should have told her everyday because she was p...
Billy Mack: I realized that Christmas is... is the time to be with the people you love. Joe: Right. Billy Mack: And I realized that, as dire chance and... and... and fateful cockup would have it, here I am, mid-50s, and without knowing it I've gone a...
FBI Director Womack: What do you know about V.X. gas? Dr. Stanley Goodspeed: Liquid; failed pesticide; discovered by mistake in 1952. Uhh, actually, it's kind of like champagne that way. The Franciscan monks thought they were making white wine. Someh...
Harry Burns: You take someone to the airport, its clearly the beginning of the relationship. That's why I have never taken anyone to the airport at the beginning of a relationship. Sally Albright: Why? Harry Burns: Because eventually things move on a...
Jeff Bebe: I can't say anymore with the writer here. Russell Hammond: No, no, no. You can trust him, you can say whatever you want. Jeff Bebe: I work just as hard or harder than anybody on that stage. You know what I do? I connect. I get people off. ...
[Detective Trupo notices Richie's plans to arrest Frank Lucas] Detective Trupo: What's this? Don't tell me you're actually gonna arrest Frank Lucas, are you? Detective Richie Roberts: What? Haven't you heard? We're all fucking crazy over here. You kn...
Marcy: I was raped once. As a matter of fact it happened right here in this very room. I lived here once. He came in through there on the fire escape. He held a knife to my throat and said if I made a move, he'd cut my tongue out. He tied me to the b...
