Dorothy: Your Majesty, if you were king, you wouldn't be afraid of anything? Cowardly Lion: Not nobody! Not nohow! Tin Woodsman: Not even a rhinoceros? Cowardly Lion: Imposerous! Dorothy: How about a hippopotamus? Cowardly Lion: Why, I'd thrash him f...
Tom Conlon: So you gonna ask about her, or you just gonna sit there all sober? Paddy Conlon: I know. Tom Conlon: Oh you know. What do you know? You know it wasn't enough to drive west to get away from you? When we hit the water we drove north, too. P...
Bryan Callen: Tommy Riordan's captured the media's attention, but the question still remains: who is this guy? And more importantly, can he compete in this talent pool? Can he win? Sam Sheridan: I wish I knew, Bryan. I wish I knew who he was, and I'v...
Moppet Girl: [trying to play "Fix-It Felix, Jr."] Mr. Litwak! Mr. Litwak: What's the matter, sweetheart? Moppet Girl: The game's busted. Mr. Litwak: [looks] Hmm, looks like the game's gone cuckoo... like my nana. Here's your quarter back, darling. Mo...
Sally Albright: At least I got the apartment. Harry Burns: That's what everyone says. But, really, what's so hard about finding an apartment? What you do is look in the obituary section. You see who died, find out where they lived, and tip the doorma...
Anybodys, Tomboy: Hey buddy boys! Action: Ah, go wear a skirt. Anybodys, Tomboy: Listen... Ice: The first thing we do is we start showin' around like we have nothin' to hide... Anybodys, Tomboy: Listen! A-Rab: Supposin' they ask us about the rumble? ...
Bromhead: Chard. One of my men - Hook - do you know him? Lieutenant John Chard: [preoccupied] No. Bromhead: In the hospital, malingering under arrest. He's a thief, a coward and an insubordinate barrack room lawyer. And you've given him a rifle! Lieu...
Dan: I need a favor. Kuwaiti Businessman: Why I should help you? Dan: Because we're friends. Kuwaiti Businessman: You saying we are friends? How come you only call me when you need help? But when I need something you are too busy to pick up the phone...
[first lines] Aron Ralston: Hey. Aron here. Leave a message. Sonja Ralston: Hey Aron. Sonja here, again. I know that you're probably gonna be away this weekend. But listen, just think about we we're gonna play. Please. 'Cause we have to decide, and w...
Juror #10: Oh, listen, I don't see what all this stuff about the knife has got to do with anything. Somebody saw the kid stab his father, what more do we need? You guys can talk the ears right off my head, you know what I mean? I got three garages of...
McKenzie: Hey, don't you have like 20 cards to write by Friday? Tom: Nope, all done. McKenzie: Really? Well, could you help me with mine? Because I'm running out of ways to say "Congratulations". So far, I've got: "Congrats", "Good job" and "Well don...
Jeffrey Lovell: Dad, did you know the astronauts in the fire? Jim Lovell: [pause] Yeah, I knew them. Knew all of them. Jeffrey Lovell: Could that happen again? Jim Lovell: Well, I'll tell you something about that fire, a lot of things went wrong. The...
Brad Dupree: [reading Lester's job description] "My job consists of basically masking my contempt for the assholes in charge, and, at least once a day, retiring to the men's room so I can jerk off while I fantasize about a life that doesn't so closel...
Valerie Thomas: I guess we thought that maybe Susan Orlean and Leroche could fall in love, and... Charlie Kaufman: Okay. But, I'm saying, it's like, I don't want to cram in sex or guns or car chases, you know... or characters, you know, learning prof...
John Laroche: [viewing an orchid at a flower show] Angraecum sesquipedale! A beauty! God! Darwin wrote about this one. Charles Darwin? Evolution guy? Hello? You see that nectary all the way down there? Darwin hypothesized a moth with a nose twelve in...
Ash: Yeah! [after shooting King Arthur's sword in half] Ash: Alright you Primitive Screwheads, listen up! You see this? This... is my boomstick! The twelve-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting g...
Otter: Mandy, Mandy Pepperidge. I haven't seen you since we... Mandy Pepperidge: Go away! Otter: I'm sorry, I can only stay a minute. Can I buy you some lunch? Oh, you got your lunch. Well, how about some milk? Got your milk too. Can I just massage y...
Gorman: [referring to the knife game] I thought you never missed, Bishop. [Ripley looks up to see a white milky substance leaking from between Bishop's thumb and index fingers] Ripley: [to Burke in an accusatory tone] You never said anything about an...
Genie: I'm telling you, nice to be back, ladies and gentlemen. Hi! Where you from? What's your name? Aladdin: Uh... uh, Aladdin. Genie: Aladdin! Hello, Aladdin, nice to have you on the show. Can we call you Al, or maybe just Din? Or how about Laddie?...
[Asking for background information about Howard Hunt] Bob Woodward: It's just profile information, mostly. We know, for example, that he works for Mullen and Company, or did work for Mullen and Company, as a writer. He's also a novelist; we know that...
Tim: And so he told me his secret formula for happiness. Part one of the two part plan was that I should just get on with ordinary life, living it day by day, like anyone else. Tim: But then came part two of Dad's plan. He told me to live every day a...
