Bill Cox: Hey, Scooter, did I tell you the one about the two ol' boys pissing off a bridge? Scooter: I don't believe you did. Bill Cox: Well, there were these two ol' boys and they hung their peckers off a bridge to piss. One ol' boy from California,...
Tony Montana: Look at that: a junkie... I got a junkie for a wife... Her womb is so polluted... I can't even have a fucking little baby with her! Manolo Ray: C'mon Tony... Elvira Hancock: You son of a bitch!... you fuck!... [throws wine in Tony's fac...
James T. Kirk: How did you find me? Christopher Pike: I know you better than you think you do. The first time I found you was in a dive like this. Remember that? You got your ass handed to you. James T. Kirk: No, I didn't. Christopher Pike: You don't...
Tiffany: Hey! Pat: What the fuck? I'm married! Tiffany: So am I! Pat: What the fuck are you doing? Your husband's dead! Tiffany: Where's your wife? Pat: You're crazy! Tiffany: I'm not the one who just got out of that hospital in Baltimore. Pat: And I...
Lt. Nyota Uhura: [catches Kirk hiding under her roommate's bed] You! James T. Kirk: [scheduled to take the Kobayashi Maru test the next day] Big day tomorrow. Lt. Nyota Uhura: [throws his clothes at him] You're gonna fail. James T. Kirk: Gaila, see y...
[Buzz, in Spanish mode, sees Jessie for the first time] Spanish Buzz: ¡Ven conmigo! ¡Te mostraré las maravillas de la galaxia, y juntos lucharemos contra el despiadado Zurg! [Come with me! I will show you the wonders of the galaxy, and together we...
Higgins: I'm sorry. Joe Turner: You're sorry? You're sorry. Oh, I get it. I get it. You expect me to draw fire, like one of those penny arcade bears that parades back and forth waiting for somebody, somebody very good just to take another shot, and y...
Bryan: I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me...
Oompa Loompas: Oompa Loompa doo-pa-dee do / I've got another puzzle for you / Oompa Loompa doo-pa-dee dee / If you are wise you'll listen to me / Gum chewing's fine when it's once in a while / It stops you from smoking and brightens your smile / But ...
Withnail: This is ridiculous. Look at me, I'm 30 in a month and I've got a sole flapping off my shoe. Marwood: It'll get better, it has to. Withnail: Easy for you to say, luvvie, you've had an audition. Why can't I have an audition? It's ridiculous. ...
Swan: [Deleted introductory scene in the subway] ... What's bugging you? You got a problem? Ajax: Yeah, I got a problem. I don't like what we're getting into. This whole thing stinks. Swan: We're going in there just like all the other guys. Ajax: Jus...
R.K. Maroon: Roger, I know this seems pretty painful now, but you'll find someone new. Won't he, Mr. Valiant? Eddie Valiant: Good looking guy like that? Dames will be breaking his doors down. Roger Rabbit: Dames? What dames? [Angrily grabbing Eddie b...
Roger Rabbit: Listen, my philosophy is this: If you don't have a good sense of humor, you're better off dead. Eddie Valiant: You might just get your wish if we don't find out what happened to this. [Tosses a photo at Dolores] Roger Rabbit: What is it...
John Book: [John appears in Amish clothes before going to town with Eli, Rachel laughs, John approaches Rachel] My gun, I need my gun. [Rachel gets the gun out of the cupboard, John turns to leave] John Book: The bullets? Not much good without 'em. R...
George: Martha's got money because Martha's father's second wife, not Martha's mother but after Martha's mother died, was a very old lady with warts who was very rich. Nick: She was a witch! George: She was a good witch, and she married the white mou...
Summer: We've been like Sid and Nancy for months now. Tom: Summer, Sid stabbed Nancy, seven times with a kitchen knife, I mean we have some disagreements but I hardly think I'm Sid Vicious. Summer: No I'm Sid. Tom: Oh, so I'm Nancy... [Pancakes arriv...
Wood Hite: Oh, I'm a good old rebel, Now thats just what I am, And for this yankee nation, I do no give a damn. I'm glad I fought a ganner, I only wish we won. I aint asked any pardon for anything I've done. I hates the yankee nation and eveything th...
Antonio Salieri: [reflecting upon a Mozart score] Astounding! It was actually, it was beyond belief. But they showed no corrections of any kind. Not one. He had simply written down music already finished in his head! Page after page of it as if he we...
Alice: [drinks from bottle] Mmm... tastes like cherry tart. [shrinks down] Alice: Custard. [shrinks down] Alice: Pineapple. [shrinks down] Alice: Roast turkey. [now at minimum size] Alice: Goodness! What did I do? Doorknob: [chuckles] You almost went...
Solomon Vandy: Dia, What are you doing? Dia! Look at me, look at me. What are you doing? You are Dia Vendy, of the proud Mende tribe. You are a good boy who loves soccer and school. Your mother loves you so much. She waits by the fire making plantain...
[last lines] Butch Cassidy: Ready? OK, when we get outside and we get to the horses, whatever happens, just remember one thing... hey, wait a minute. Sundance Kid: What? Butch Cassidy: You didn't see Lefors out there, did you? Sundance Kid: Lefors? N...
