Quotes by Woody Allen

About Woody Allen:

Heywood "Woody" Allen is an American actor, writer, director, comedian and playwright, whose career spans more than 50 years.
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

I took a speed-reading course and read in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.

Woody Allen

I hate reality but it's still the best place to get a good steak.

Woody Allen

There is no question that there is an unseen world. The problem is, how far is it from midtown and how late is it open?

Woody Allen

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in my bath and she'd come in and sink my boats.

Woody Allen

Because it's much more pleasant to be obsessed over how the hero gets out of his predicament than it is over how I get out of mine.

Woody Allen

Maugham then offers the greatest advice anyone could give to a young author: "At the end of an interrogation sentence, place a question mark. You'd be surprised how effective it can be.

Woody Allen

All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it.

Woody Allen

I’m going to kill myself. I should go to Paris and jump off the Eiffel Tower. I’ll be dead. you know, in fact, if I get the Concorde, I could be dead three hours earlier, which would be perfect. Or wait a minute. It -- with the time change, I cou...

Woody Allen

One must have one's delusions to live. If you look at life too honestly and clearly, life becomes unbearable because it's a pretty grim enterprise, you will admit.

Woody Allen

-Mary: Il sesso senza amore è un'esperienza vuota! -Isaac: Beh, ma tra le esperienze vuote è una delle migliori.

Woody Allen

Honey! Bring down a copy of my will - and an eraser!

Woody Allen

All men are mortal. Socrates was mortal. Therefore, all men are Socrates.

Woody Allen

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer; to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy, then, is to suffer, but sufferin...

Woody Allen

Men learn to love the woman they are attracted to. Women learn to become attracted to the man they fall in love with.

Woody Allen

I love nature, I just don't want to get any of it on me.

Woody Allen

Sun is bad for you. Everything our parents said was good is bad. Sun, milk, red meat...college,

Woody Allen

Hay relaciones en las que las palabras dice amistad, pero los ojos gritan romance.

Woody Allen

If Jesus came back and saw what was going on in his name, he'd never stop throwing-up.

Woody Allen

Just don't take any class where you have to read BEOWULF.

Woody Allen

There's nothing like the discovery of an unknown work by a great thinker to set the intellectual community atwitter and cause academics to dart about like those things one sees when looking at a drop of water under a microscope.

Woody Allen

The difference between sex and love is that sex relieves tension and love causes it.

Woody Allen

Author Bio

  • NameWoody Allen
  • DescriptionAmerican screenwriter, director, actor, comedian, author, playwright, and musician
  • AliasesAllan Stewart Konigsberg
  • BornDecember 1, 1935
  • CountryUnited States Of America
  • ProfessionFilm Director; Actor; Film Actor; Screenwriter; Film Producer; Writer; Clarinetist; Playwright; Jazz Musician
  • AwardsAcademy Award For Best Writing (Original Screenplay); Academy Award For Best Director; Writers Guild Of America Award; Donostia Award; Directors Guild Of America Award; Princess Of Asturias Award - Art