Quotes by Woody Allen

About Woody Allen:

Heywood "Woody" Allen is an American actor, writer, director, comedian and playwright, whose career spans more than 50 years.
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.

Woody Allen

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.

Woody Allen

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

Woody Allen

I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

Woody Allen

I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.

Woody Allen

Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.

Woody Allen

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.

Woody Allen

Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.

Woody Allen

I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.

Woody Allen

Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all.

Woody Allen

Right now it's only a notion, but I think I can get the money to make it into a concept, and later turn it into an idea.

Woody Allen

Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.

Woody Allen

I am two with nature.

Woody Allen

Eighty percent of success is showing up.

Woody Allen

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.

Woody Allen

If my films don't show a profit, I know I'm doing something right.

Woody Allen

If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.

Woody Allen

Tradition is the illusion of permanance.

Woody Allen

I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.

Woody Allen

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.

Woody Allen

I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.

Woody Allen

Author Bio

  • NameWoody Allen
  • DescriptionAmerican screenwriter, director, actor, comedian, author, playwright, and musician
  • AliasesAllan Stewart Konigsberg
  • BornDecember 1, 1935
  • CountryUnited States Of America
  • ProfessionFilm Director; Actor; Film Actor; Screenwriter; Film Producer; Writer; Clarinetist; Playwright; Jazz Musician
  • AwardsAcademy Award For Best Writing (Original Screenplay); Academy Award For Best Director; Writers Guild Of America Award; Donostia Award; Directors Guild Of America Award; Princess Of Asturias Award - Art