Quotes by W. C. Fields

About W. C. Fields:

William Claude Dukenfield was an American comedian, actor, juggler and writer. Fields' comic persona was a misanthropic and hard-drinking egotist, who remained a sympathetic character despite his snarling contempt for dogs and children.
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

W. C. Fields

Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch.

W. C. Fields

I don't know why I ever come in here. The flies get the best of everything.

W. C. Fields

Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.

W. C. Fields

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

W. C. Fields

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

W. C. Fields

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.

W. C. Fields

I never worry about being driven to drink; I just worry about being driven home.

W. C. Fields

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

W. C. Fields

Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?

W. C. Fields

When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.

W. C. Fields

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

W. C. Fields

Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil.

W. C. Fields

All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.

W. C. Fields

I like children - fried.

W. C. Fields

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

W. C. Fields

If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.

W. C. Fields

Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.

W. C. Fields

There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.

W. C. Fields

You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.

W. C. Fields

Author Bio

  • NameW. C. Fields
  • DescriptionActor
  • AliasesWC Fields
  • BornJanuary 29, 1880
  • DiedDecember 25, 1946
  • CountryUnited States Of America
  • ProfessionFilm Actor; Actor; Screenwriter; Cabaret Artist; Circus Performer