Quotes by Tom Lehrer

About Tom Lehrer:

Thomas Andrew Lehrer is an American singer-songwriter, satirist, pianist, and mathematician. He has lectured on mathematics and musical theater. He is best known for the pithy, humorous songs he recorded in the 1950s and '60s.
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years.

Tom Lehrer

It is sobering to consider that when Mozart was my age he had already been dead for a year.

Tom Lehrer

Life is like a sewer. What you get out of it depends on what you put into it.

Tom Lehrer

Bad weather always looks worse through a window.

Tom Lehrer

Apart from that Mrs Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play?

Tom Lehrer

On my income tax 1040 it says 'Check this box if you are blind.' I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away.

Tom Lehrer

In my youth there were words you couldn't say in front of a girl; now you can't say 'girl.'

Tom Lehrer

Counting in octal is just like counting in decimal, if you don't use your .

Tom Lehrer

I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up.

Tom Lehrer

If a person feels he can't communicate, the least he can do is shut up about it.

Tom Lehrer

I wish people who have trouble communicating would just shut up.

Tom Lehrer

I went from adolescence to senility, trying to bypass maturity.

Tom Lehrer

I'm not tempted to write a song about George W. Bush. I couldn't figure out what sort of song I would write. That's the problem: I don't want to satirise George Bush and his puppeteers, I want to vaporise them.

Tom Lehrer

I didn't feel the need for anonymous affection, for people in the dark applauding. To me, it would be like writing a novel and then getting up every night and reading your novel.

Tom Lehrer

You can't be satirical and not be offensive to somebody.

Tom Lehrer

If, after hearing my songs, just one human being is inspired to say something nasty to a friend or, perhaps to strike a loved one, it will all have been worth the while.

Tom Lehrer

An actress must never lose her ego - without it she has no talent.

Tom Lehrer

Irreverence is easy - what's hard is wit.

Tom Lehrer

I wasn't really a performer by temperament.

Tom Lehrer

I like Jon Stewart. He's not as obnoxious as Dennis Miller, whom I really can't stand.

Tom Lehrer

Author Bio

  • NameTom Lehrer
  • DescriptionAmerican songpoet
  • BornApril 9, 1928
  • CountryUnited States Of America
  • ProfessionSinger-songwriter; Pianist; Mathematician; Singer