Quotes by Stephen Colbert

About Stephen Colbert:

Stephen Tyrone Colbert is an American comedian, writer, producer, actor, singer, media critic, and television host. He currently hosts the late-night television talk show The Late Show with Stephen Colbert on CBS, succeeding David Letterman.
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My mom kind of led me toward acting. She wanted to be an actress when she was younger. That made me interested in it when I was a kid, because she and I are very close.

Stephen Colbert

No, my mom kind of led me toward acting. She wanted to be an actress when she was younger. That made me interested in it when I was a kid, because she and I are very close.

Stephen Colbert

In order to maintain an untenable position, you have to be actively ignorant. One motto on the show is, 'Keep your facts, I'm going with the truth.'

Stephen Colbert

I deliver my Truth hot and hard.

Stephen Colbert

I don't like the new president who hunts muslim extremists, I like the old president who is a muslim extremist.

Stephen Colbert

I like talking about people who don't have any power and it seems like some of the least powerful people in the United States are the migrant workers who come and do our work and don't have any rights as a result. And yet we still invite them to come...

Stephen Colbert

Sir, pay no attention to the people who say the glass is half empty, because 32% means it's 2/3 empty. There's still some liquid in that glass is my point, but I wouldn't drink it. The last third is usually backwash. (Said to President Bush at the Wh...

Stephen Colbert

The pistachio: it's just like our politics. When the two sides are divided, that's when the nuts come out.

Stephen Colbert

it's back to school time. or as home-schoolers call it, stay-where-you-are time.

Stephen Colbert

Who would have thought that a means of communication limited to 140 characters would ever create misunderstanding.

Stephen Colbert

There's nothing wrong with stretching the truth. We stretch taffy, and that just makes it more delicious.

Stephen Colbert

After obsessively Googling symptoms for four hours, I discovered 'obsessively Googling symptoms' is a symptom of hypochondria.

Stephen Colbert

If I had one wish, it would be for self-drying pants. Wait -- no! Unlimited wishes! How do I return these stupid pants?!

Stephen Colbert

Mitt Romney's email was hacked! So if you start getting messages that sound like they're from a bot, he's fixed the problem.

Stephen Colbert

I'm off for two weeks, so until I get back, take the characters in this tweet and parcel them out one per day. Use this Q wisely.

Stephen Colbert

Forgot to live-tweet the election last night, so I'm post-tweeting today. I'll start as soon as my fingers unclench from their rage fists.

Stephen Colbert

My guest Newt Gingrich shut down the government during the Clinton administration. I'll ask him when it's gonna start working again.

Stephen Colbert

Can't wait for tomorrow when I get to exercise my patriotic duty as an American: Complaining about how long it's taking to VOTE.

Stephen Colbert

A new study shows that having a severe phobia can hasten aging. But what if my greatest fear IS aging?!?

Stephen Colbert

I love making observations. That one is a classic example.

Stephen Colbert

It's August, which means Congress is on recess and Mitch McConnell has shimmied back into the ocean to seek a mate.

Stephen Colbert

Author Bio

  • NameStephen Colbert
  • DescriptionAmerican political satirist, writer, comedian, television host, and actor
  • AliasesStephen Tyrone Colbert
  • BornMay 13, 1964
  • CountryUnited States Of America
  • ProfessionActor; Comedian; Screenwriter; Television Presenter; Novelist; Writer
  • AwardsGrammy Award For Best Spoken Word Album; Writers Guild Of America Award; Primetime Emmy Award