Quotes by Stephen Colbert

About Stephen Colbert:

Stephen Tyrone Colbert is an American comedian, writer, producer, actor, singer, media critic, and television host. He currently hosts the late-night television talk show The Late Show with Stephen Colbert on CBS, succeeding David Letterman.
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Wikipedia is the first place I go when I'm looking for knowledge... or when I want to create some.

Stephen Colbert

There hasn't been a scandal this big at the C.I.A. since (CLASSIFIED) committed (CENSORED) to (REDACTED).

Stephen Colbert

NC passed law against global warming science, therefore it's not happening. So I'm ignoring Twitter's 140-character limit, so it's not happ

Stephen Colbert

Atheism, a religion dedicated to its own sense of smug superiority.

Stephen Colbert

I may be just an empty flesh terminal reliant on technology for all my ideas, memories and relationships, but I am confident that all of that everything that makes me a unique human being is still out there somewhere, safe in a theoretical storage sp...

Stephen Colbert

So, a word to all you Femin-Idi-Amins: Stop “liberating” moms by trying to make them join the workforce. They’re already doing the job that God put them here to do: Everything.

Stephen Colbert

Senator John Kyle claiming that over 90 percent of what Planned Parenthood does is abortion. Stephen Colbert: Over 90 percent, that is unbelievable...in that it is not true. Only 3 percent of what Planned Parenthood does is abortion. Kyle just rounde...

Stephen Colbert

I used to make up stuff in my bio all the time, that I used to be a professional ice-skater and stuff like that. I found it so inspirational. Why not make myself cooler than I am?

Stephen Colbert

Thankfully, dreams can change. If we'd all stuck with our first dream, the world would be overrun with cowboys and princesses.

Stephen Colbert

I spent my first two years at a small all-male college in Virginia called Hampden-Sydney. That was like going to college 120 years ago. The languages, a year of rhetoric, all of the great books, Western Man courses, stuff like that.

Stephen Colbert

Status is always ripe for satire, status is always good for comedy.

Stephen Colbert

We have this idea in our minds that there's this separation of church and state in America, which I think is a good thing. And we extend that to our politics - not just church and state, but it's also there's a separation of religion and politics. Bu...

Stephen Colbert

We have this idea in our minds that there's this separation of church and state in America, which I think is a good thing.

Stephen Colbert

I just think Rosa Parks was overrated. Last time I checked, she got famous for breaking the law.

Stephen Colbert

If I had free time to go to Los Angeles to shoot a movie, I would rather spend it with my kids.

Stephen Colbert

I wrote things for the school's newspaper, and - like all teenagers - I dabbled in poetry.

Stephen Colbert

I used to write things for friends. There was this girl I had a crush on, and she had a teacher she didn't like at school. I had a real crush on her, so almost every day I would write her a little short story where she would kill him in a different w...

Stephen Colbert

And if you love only yourself, you will serve only yourself. And you will have only yourself.

Stephen Colbert

If you love friends, you will serve your friends. If you love community, you will serve your community. If you love money, you will serve your money. And if you love only yourself, you will serve only yourself. And you will have only yourself.

Stephen Colbert

I love being onstage. I love the relationship with the audience. I love the letting go, the sense of discovery, the improvising.

Stephen Colbert

I'm a huge news junkie. I love what the news does.

Stephen Colbert

Author Bio

  • NameStephen Colbert
  • DescriptionAmerican political satirist, writer, comedian, television host, and actor
  • AliasesStephen Tyrone Colbert
  • BornMay 13, 1964
  • CountryUnited States Of America
  • ProfessionActor; Comedian; Screenwriter; Television Presenter; Novelist; Writer
  • AwardsGrammy Award For Best Spoken Word Album; Writers Guild Of America Award; Primetime Emmy Award