Quotes by Scott Adams

About Scott Adams:

Scott Raymond Adams is an American cartoonist, creator of the Dilbert comic strip and the author of several nonfiction works of satire, commentary, business, and general speculation.
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Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you're a consultant.

Scott Adams

I love you like a fat kid loves cake!

Scott Adams

You're thinking I'm one of those wise-ass California vegetarians who is going to tell you that eating a few strips of bacon is bad for your health. I'm not. I say its a free country and you should be able to kill yourself at any rate you choose, as l...

Scott Adams

The first time you see something that you have never seen before, you almost always know right away if you should eat it or run away from it.

Scott Adams

Life is half delicious yogurt, half crap, and your job is to keep the plastic spoon in the yogurt.

Scott Adams

The Cheesecake Factory is a great business model, but if you take your wife there for your 25th wedding anniversary, you might not reach your 26th.

Scott Adams

If I liked food and disliked exercise as much as a 400 pound guy, I'd be a 400 pound guy.

Scott Adams

Losers have goals. Winners have systems.

Scott Adams

Ask a deeply religious Christian if he’d rather live next to a bearded Muslim that may or may not be plotting a terror attack, or an atheist that may or may not show him how to set up a wireless network in his house. On the scale of prejudice, athe...

Scott Adams

Dance like it hurts. Love like you need money. Work when people are watching. -- Dogbert's Motto

Scott Adams

If you want to understand UFOs, reincarnation and God, do not study UFOs, reincarnation and God. Study people.

Scott Adams

Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge.

Scott Adams

The only risk of failure is promotion.

Scott Adams

Most success springs from an obstacle or failure. I became a cartoonist largely because I failed in my goal of becoming a successful executive.

Scott Adams

The greenest home is the one you don't build. If you really want to save the Earth, move in with another family and share a house that's already built. Better yet, live in the forest and eat whatever the squirrels don't want.

Scott Adams

Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results.

Scott Adams

Remind people that profit is the difference between revenue and expense. This makes you look smart.

Scott Adams

Obviously there's not much options when you're a cartoonist - you pretty much either work at home or rent an office I guess, and working at home just seems easier.

Scott Adams

It doesn't take many people to have a bad sense of humor to get in trouble at a corporation.

Scott Adams

Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is the principle behind lotteries, dating, and religion.

Scott Adams

I think 'Dilbert' will remain popular as long as employees are frustrated and they fear the consequences of complaining too loudly. 'Dilbert' is the designated voice of discontent for the workplace. I never planned it that way. It just happened.

Scott Adams

Author Bio

  • NameScott Adams
  • Descriptioncartoonist, writer
  • BornJune 8, 1957
  • CountryUnited States Of America
  • ProfessionComics Artist