Quotes by Rodney Dangerfield

About Rodney Dangerfield:

Rodney Dangerfield is also remembered for his 1980s film roles, especially in Easy Money, Caddyshack, and Back to School.
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.

Rodney Dangerfield

My wife can't cook at all. She made chocolate mousse. An antler got stuck in my throat.

Rodney Dangerfield

I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.

Rodney Dangerfield

With me, nothing goes right. My psychiatrist said my wife and I should have sex every night. Now, we'll never see each other!

Rodney Dangerfield

When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.

Rodney Dangerfield

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.

Rodney Dangerfield

My wife was afraid of the dark... then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light.

Rodney Dangerfield

I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand.

Rodney Dangerfield

When I was kidnapped as a child my parents sent a letter to the hijackers me Pay 5,000 dollars or your back

Rodney Dangerfield

I'm not a hypochondriac, but my gynaecologist firmly believes I am.

Rodney Dangerfield

I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it.

Rodney Dangerfield

Once I pulled a job, I was so stupid. I picked a guy's pocket on an airplane and made a run for it.

Rodney Dangerfield

What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife.

Rodney Dangerfield

I came from a real tough neighborhood. Why, every time I shut the window I hurt somebody's fingers.

Rodney Dangerfield

I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

Rodney Dangerfield

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

Rodney Dangerfield

My wife and I were happy for twenty year. Then we met.

Rodney Dangerfield

I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.

Rodney Dangerfield

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.

Rodney Dangerfield

I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.

Rodney Dangerfield

A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.

Rodney Dangerfield

Author Bio

  • NameRodney Dangerfield
  • DescriptionAmerican actor and comedian
  • BornNovember 22, 1921
  • DiedOctober 5, 2004
  • CountryUnited States Of America
  • ProfessionActor