Quotes by Robert Benchley

About Robert Benchley:

Robert Charles Benchley was an American humorist best known for his work as a newspaper columnist and film actor. From his beginnings at the Harvard Lampoon while attending Harvard University, through his many years writing essays and articles for Vanity Fair and The New Yorker, and his acclaimed short films, Benchley's style of humor brought him respect and success during his life, from New York City and his peers at the Algonquin Round Table to contemporaries in the burgeoning film industry.
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

The only cure for a real hangover is death.

Robert Benchley

It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous.

Robert Benchley

The problem of what to wear while lolling about the house on a Sunday afternoon is becoming more and more acute as the fashions in lolling garments change. The American home is in danger of taking on the appearance of an Oriental bordello.

Robert Benchley

Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.

Robert Benchley

Central Park is the grandiose symbol of the front yard each child in New York hasn't got.

Robert Benchley

New York - The city where the people from Oshkosh look at the people from Dubuque in the next theater seats and say "These New Yorkers don't dress any better than we do.

Robert Benchley

There are two kinds of people in the world, those who believe there are two kinds of people in the world and those who don't.

Robert Benchley

One, two, three / Buckle my shoe.

Robert Benchley

You might think that after thousands of years of coming up too soon and getting frozen, the crocus family would have had a little sense knocked into it.

Robert Benchley

There seems to be no lengths to which humorless people will not go to analyze humor. It seems to worry them.

Robert Benchley

I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry.

Robert Benchley

A real hangover is nothing to try out family remedies on. The only cure for a real hangover is death.

Robert Benchley

A great many people have come up to me and asked how I manage to get so much work done and still keep looking so dissipated.

Robert Benchley

Great literature must spring from an upheaval in the author's soul. If that upheaval is not present then it must come from the works of any other author which happens to be handy and easily adapted.

Robert Benchley

Tell us your phobias and we will tell you what you are afraid of.

Robert Benchley

It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous.

Robert Benchley

I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.

Robert Benchley

Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?

Robert Benchley

Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.

Robert Benchley

After an author has been dead for some time, it becomes increasingly difficult for his publishers to get a new book out of him each year.

Robert Benchley

For a nation which has an almost evil reputation for bustle, bustle, bustle, and rush, rush, rush, we spend an enormous amount of time standing around in line in front of windows, just waiting.

Robert Benchley

Author Bio

  • NameRobert Benchley
  • DescriptionAmerican comedian
  • BornSeptember 15, 1889
  • DiedNovember 21, 1945
  • CountryUnited States Of America
  • ProfessionActor