Quotes by Robert Benchley

About Robert Benchley:

Robert Charles Benchley was an American humorist best known for his work as a newspaper columnist and film actor. From his beginnings at the Harvard Lampoon while attending Harvard University, through his many years writing essays and articles for Vanity Fair and The New Yorker, and his acclaimed short films, Benchley's style of humor brought him respect and success during his life, from New York City and his peers at the Algonquin Round Table to contemporaries in the burgeoning film industry.
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Behind every argument is someone's ignorance.

Robert Benchley

There are two kinds of travel: first class and with children.

Robert Benchley

If Mr. Einstein doesn't like the natural laws of the universe, let him go back to where he came from.

Robert Benchley

Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that it's compounding a felony.

Robert Benchley

A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.

Robert Benchley

The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.

Robert Benchley

The biggest obstacle to professional writing is the necessity for changing a typewriter ribbon.

Robert Benchley

The freelance writer is a man who is paid per piece or per word or perhaps.

Robert Benchley

Even nowadays a man can't step up and kill a woman without feeling just a bit unchivalrous.

Robert Benchley

We are constantly being surprised that people did things well before we were born.

Robert Benchley

An ardent supporter of the hometown team should go to a game prepared to take offense, no matter what happens.

Robert Benchley

Opera is where a guy gets stabbed in the back, and instead of dying, he sings.

Robert Benchley

I have been told by hospital authorities that more copies of my works are left behind by departing patients than those of any other author.

Robert Benchley

In a house where there are small children the bathroom soon takes on the appearance of the Old Curiosity Shop.

Robert Benchley

Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, owing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about.

Robert Benchley

We call ourselves a free nation, and yet we let ourselves be told what cabs we can and can't take by a man at a hotel door, simply because he has a drum major's uniform on.

Robert Benchley

There is a note in the front of the volume saying that no public reading may be given without first getting the author's permission. It ought to be made much more difficult to do than that.

Robert Benchley

Anyone who tries to keep track of what is happening in China is going to end up by wearing all the skin of his left ear from twirling around on it.

Robert Benchley

Nothing makes a man feel older than to hear a band coming up the street and not to have the impulse to rush downstairs and out on to the sidewalk.

Robert Benchley

If there is a streak of ham anywhere in an actor, Shakespeare will bring it out.

Robert Benchley

Author Bio

  • NameRobert Benchley
  • DescriptionAmerican comedian
  • BornSeptember 15, 1889
  • DiedNovember 21, 1945
  • CountryUnited States Of America
  • ProfessionActor