About Quentin Crisp: Quentin Crisp was an English writer and raconteur.
If at first you don’t succeed, failure may be your style.
If a man were to look over the fence on one side of his garden and observe that the neighbor on his left had laid his garden path round a central lawn; and were to look over the fence on the other side of his garden and observe that the neighbor on h...
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?
All the golden societies of the past to which historians point and turn their wistful smiles have had what patience-players would call a discard pile. They operated on two levels with a slave class who worked, ate, slept, and died and a leisured clas...
Our clothes are too much a part of us for most of us ever to be entirely indifferent to their condition: it is as though the fabric were indeed a natural extension of the body, or even of the soul.
Fashion is what you adopt when you don't know who you are.
I recommend limiting one's involvement in other people's lives to a pleasantly scant minimum.
I simply haven't the nerve to imagine a being, a force, a cause which keeps the planets revolving in their orbits and then suddenly stops in order to give me a bicycle with three speeds.
The very purpose of existence is to reconcile the glowing opinion we hold of ourselves with the appalling things that other people think about us.
For flavor, instant sex will never supersede the stuff you have to peel and cook.
Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level.
There is no need to do any housework at all. After the first four years the dirt doesn't get any worse.
The trouble with children is that they're not returnable.
Nothing shortens a journey so pleasantly as an account of misfortunes at which the hearer is permitted to laugh.
An autobiography is an obituary in serial form with the last installment missing.
The poverty from which I have suffered could be diagnosed as 'Soho' poverty. It comes from having the airs and graces of a genius and no talent.
Decency must be an even more exhausting state to maintain than its opposite. Those who succeed seem to need a stupefying amount of sleep.
Euphemisms are unpleasant truths wearing diplomatic cologne.
You fall out of your mother's womb, you crawl across open country under fire, and drop into your grave.
It is explained that all relationships require a little give and take. This is untrue. Any partnership demands that we give and give and give and at the last, as we flop into our graves exhausted, we are told that we didn't give enough.
