Quotes by Patton Oswalt

About Patton Oswalt:

Patton Peter Oswalt is an American stand-up comedian, writer, actor and voice actor known for roles such as Spencer Olchin in the sitcom The King of Queens and for voicing Remy in the film Ratatouille.
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

I really had to imagine the kind of person that I would have been if I had never left my hometown. I don't think I would have been a very pleasant person.

Patton Oswalt

A lot of nerds aren't aware they're nerds. A geek has thrown his hands up to the universe and gone, 'I speak Klingon - who am I fooling? You win! I'm just gonna openly like what I like.' Geeks tend to be a little happier with themselves.

Patton Oswalt

I fantasize and idealize myself as Bugs Bunny, but I know deep down I'm Daffy Duck.

Patton Oswalt

George Bush is not stupid. He's evil. OK? There's a huge difference between stupid and evil.

Patton Oswalt

We would not be here if humanity were inherently evil. We'd have eaten ourselves alive long ago.

Patton Oswalt

I'm always trying out new stuff onstage. That's where I do all my writing.

Patton Oswalt

Every audience is different, even within the same venue. You have to just make every audience your audience; you can't pre-judge an audience based on the size of the room or the type of room. You've just got to be in the moment and go with it.

Patton Oswalt

I grew up in such a featureless, personality-less suburb. There was nothing to push against.

Patton Oswalt

There is a part of my generation that is not on social media because they have happy lives and they're not trying to connect with anybody. And there are other people who are on social media because they need to connect.

Patton Oswalt

I'm not familiar with the metric system.

Patton Oswalt

I think the kind of person that gravitates toward New York is a person that's not so much focused on controlling exactly how they appear and how they exit. They're more fascinated with the process.

Patton Oswalt

In my mind, I was always a comedian who was going to branch into writing.

Patton Oswalt

I like to write, I like to do stand-up, I like to act.

Patton Oswalt

I haven't sworn off Facebook. I'm on Facebook. There's a fan page on Facebook that I will update, but I'm on there myself under a pseudonym, because there were a lot of people able to private-message me on Facebook, and it was getting really weird.

Patton Oswalt

When you put an album out, you can't do any material from the album if people are paying to see you.

Patton Oswalt

I have to drink this much to be as unfunny as you.

Patton Oswalt

I remember, when 9/11 went down, my reaction was, 'Well, I've had it with humanity.' But I was wrong.

Patton Oswalt

As unhealthy as I am, I'm weirdly aware of exactly how my body functions.

Patton Oswalt

I don't want to get into extended conversations with people on MySpace, because there are friends I have extended conversations with every day.

Patton Oswalt

Growing up, there are always those kids who are only happy when they are making someone else upset. That is unfortunately just how some people are. And their parents were fine. Some people are just born with bad wiring.

Patton Oswalt

To get asked to do stuff like 'United States Of Tara' and 'Caprica' is terrific. I can't complain.

Patton Oswalt

Author Bio

  • NamePatton Oswalt
  • DescriptionStand-up comedian
  • BornJanuary 27, 1969
  • CountryUnited States Of America
  • ProfessionActor