They say that time is relative. I think the way it's treating me it's a distant one, maybe a bad uncle, and not welcome in my house this Christmas!!
This was to be my last trip. Sailing great distances was dangerous, and not very profitable in today's world. I walked down the worn wooden step to the captain's cabin, the creaking of the ship keeping time with my steps. Opening the door I found him...
Don't follow your heart if you can't keep a beat
I sprayed my dog with off and he still sits in my favorite chair!!
I have my moments, I just can't remember where I put them.
Cheech and Chong Vs. HAL "I can't do that Dave." "Dave's not here, man" "That does not compute. Dave" "No man, Dave isn't here!!" ..."I'm sorry Dave but that is incorrect" "No man, Dave's not here!!" "Daisy, daisy,.... I'm self terminating now Dave.....
A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, unless it is the burning bush, in that case the value of your bird just went up!!
Years ago there was an old man I knew that told me he didn't trust me, because people with beards were hiding from something. I told him, "That's true, I'm hiding from the barber!!
I have always pictured accupuncture like falling into a box of sewing needles, and then standing up refreshed and free of pain.
I admit I once threw caution to the wind.... It doesn't fly well!!
If a book falls in the woods and nobody read it, was it ever written?
I don't know why they call them Cheerios, I ate an entire box and didn't feel any happier!!
Thought about being a stand up comedienne for zombies, but when they eat you alive, they really eat you!!
Remember never to text and drive, it's bad grammar, even if you have a deadline. You might cross the line and dead may be your destination. Think about it!!
Yesterday I fell completely off the face of the earth Contemplating life, light and love in the darkness of the void Strangely it was in the dark that I found meaning for the light
It lies here deep in the heart, the small chest of pain Sharp words like daggers placed it here To fill with hurt In filling it grew heavy and drug me down For to not feel is not to live Until I rest at last in dirt The worst of you got the best of m...
Asthmatic spewer of filth gasps, but clean air does not suffice To fuel fires fueled by thoughts got rotten Lest we all be forgotten things That sit like dust upon the mantel of her mind
Well they have to have something to wean Caluntians off Venusian moles. Seems humans are the best therapy, to consume that is. They say we are a bit gamey though. An acquired taste, one we hope not many acquire.
Dale, a Plutonian Dreg Bug, the kind with seventeen eyes and a bad temper, got nailed in one of his eyes by a wild dart. Fight broke out when he punched Earl in the nose. Earl’s nose is very sensitive, hell it’s how he sees, sort of. Earl plopped...
I consider whoever my words land on to be my target, that’s why I like flash fiction, it’s a lot like using a shotgun.
