I may not understand your situation but I understand hurt
who are you really? you are not a name or a height, or a weight or a gender you are not an age and you are not where you are from you are your favorite books and the songs stuck in your head you are your thoughts and what you eat for breakfast on Sat...
Only ignorant people think they have all the answers, intelligent people are full of doubts.
Do what you have to do when you have to do it, so that you can do what you want to do when you want to do it.