Quotes by Mike Birbiglia

About Mike Birbiglia:

Mike Birbiglia is an American comedian, writer, actor, and director.
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

You know the quickest way to get comedians to hate you? Do Letterman at age 24.

Mike Birbiglia

There's something about small venues that's amazing for developing material. It's almost like you can not only hear people's response, but you can understand it. In bigger venues you lose that, but you gain this sense of camaraderie in the audience.

Mike Birbiglia

The ability to workshop in stand-up comedy is incomparable to any art form, in my opinion.

Mike Birbiglia

I try to think up material that might apply to the subjects they are studying. How many mitochondria does it take to power a cell? One. Because mitochondria are the powerhouse of the cell. Not ready for prime time, that one.

Mike Birbiglia

I thought, Hey, maybe these people shouldn’t be making up holidays to drink more. Maybe if they drank less they might be able to title their newspaper articles more specifically. For example, I would title this last article “Drunk Driver Hits Dru...

Mike Birbiglia

They really cut to the chase in the urologist’s examination room, and I tried to laugh. If this office were a movie, it would have been rated R.

Mike Birbiglia

Bears are simultaneously so graceful and so strong. Bears know who they are, but they often don’t know who you are, which is why they kill you.

Mike Birbiglia

I think serious situations actually make for the best kind of belly laughs. But they're also the hardest to convert into comedy at the outset.

Mike Birbiglia

Sometimes people say, 'You're the best at digressions.' And that's actually a real compliment to me.

Mike Birbiglia

I always have the best story at the party. Anyone telling a story at a party is like, 'No, no, you've got to listen to my story!' I'm like, 'Step aside, everybody. I'm going to blow the doors off this place.'

Mike Birbiglia

Someone gave me a piece of advice once, my first manager Lucien Hold. He said, 'If you do stand-up about your own life, no one can steal it.' I always thought that was the best piece of advice.

Mike Birbiglia

I drank the Kool-Aid of being a network star. Once it didn't happen, I realized it wasn't the best version of my comedy.

Mike Birbiglia

Every comedian comes to a fork in the road where they have to decide if they're going to make jokes about other people or make jokes about themselves. I chose myself.

Mike Birbiglia

I majored in screenwriting and playwriting in school - and wanted to make films as a career. But when I directed my first short in college - which was called 'Extras' - I lost thousands of dollars and made an unsatisfying and incomplete film.

Mike Birbiglia

With a monologue, you can be unendingly elliptical.

Mike Birbiglia

How many people do you know who have thrown up on the Scrambler or a carnival ride? A lot of people, is the answer.

Mike Birbiglia

The Hollywood model is to develop scripts for 10 years, sell them, transfer them, attach this actor, then attach a director. This isn't what I'm about. I'm much more of a creator and a doer.

Mike Birbiglia

I am diagnosed with what's called 'REM behavior disorder.' As far as the disorder goes, there's no cure, but it's going pretty well as far as these things go. I see a sleep doctor, take medication, etc.

Mike Birbiglia

I was completely unqualified to get into Harvard. But then I went to my interview for Harvard, and the woman asked, 'Why do you want to go here?' And I took out all of my comedy writing samples that I had done. I couldn't have been more delusional in...

Mike Birbiglia

I was a screenwriting major at Georgetown, and I was in class with some really strong writers like Jonathan Nolan, who co-wrote 'The Dark Knight' with Chris, his brother. He wrote 'The Prestige,' the story for 'Memento.'

Mike Birbiglia

Author Bio

  • NameMike Birbiglia
  • DescriptionComedian, actor, writer
  • BornJune 20, 1978
  • CountryUnited States Of America
  • ProfessionActor