Quotes by Michael Ian Black

About Michael Ian Black:

Michael Ian Black is an American comedian, actor, writer, and director. He has starred in several TV comedy series, including The State, Ed, Viva Variety, Stella, Wet Hot American Summer: First Day of Camp and Michael & Michael Have Issues. He is also a poker player, appearing on Celebrity Poker Showdown several times. He released a children's book, Chicken Cheeks, in 2009.
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

I don't think I was awake for much of my childhood. I did a lot of napping. This might have been a defensive measure against encroaching depression. Until about the age of eleven or twelve, I had zero interests other than trying to steal gumballs fro...

Michael Ian Black

Best strategy for a first date is to ask her questions. Just keeping asking her questions about herself. Her life, her job, her friends, her taste in movies and music and everything. People mostly just want to talk about themselves, so let her do tha...

Michael Ian Black

My first real break was when my college sketch troupe, The State, was asked to contribute pieces for a new MTV show called 'You Wrote It, You Watch It.'

Michael Ian Black

Your harshest critic is always going to be yourself. Don't ignore that critic but don't give it more attention than it deserves.

Michael Ian Black

Nothing is more satisfying to me than sitting in a dank room, hunched over a single flickering candle like Ebenezer Scrooge, and watching my ledgers fill themselves with ink.

Michael Ian Black

If you get an idea, you might as well stick with it until somebody calls you on it.

Michael Ian Black

Well, I think my stand-up is often kind of visual. Not like Carrot Top visual, but visual.

Michael Ian Black

I loved 'Dungeons & Dragons.' Actually, not so much the actual playing as the creation of characters and the opportunity to roll twenty-sided dice. I loved those pouches of dice Dungeon Masters would trundle around, loved choosing what I was going to...

Michael Ian Black

My absolute favorite growing up was 'Super Friends.' The assemblage of so many mighty heroes in one place was, to me, mind-blowing. It was Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, the Flash, Aquaman, and then sometimes Hawkman and some other, lesser heroes.

Michael Ian Black

Wish I could, through my own financial prestidigitation, transform a dollar bill into two, or two million. It is an awesome and mysterious skill.

Michael Ian Black

At this point, I feel fairly comfortable in terms of performance. I think having a sketch background actually helps a lot. Because my background is acting, and stand-up, in a lot of ways, is acting.

Michael Ian Black

Corporations do a lot of things well, but not run nations, for obvious reasons.

Michael Ian Black

Many, many people can write books. I just happen to be one of them.

Michael Ian Black

I definitely script things out. I definitely write things down and try to write jokes. Often, they're terrible. I often write terrible, terrible jokes.

Michael Ian Black

I think people hate me pretty much across the board, which is nice. I mean, it's a pretty evenhanded loathing among a certain amount of the critical population, which used to be about 80 percent. So now I've gotten to the point where I just don't wor...

Michael Ian Black

People recognize me, but they don't know where from. Today I was in the elevator and somebody asked me if I worked for his company.

Michael Ian Black

Whenever anyone asks me if I'm from a TV show, I say yes - no matter whether I've ever been on it. It just makes the conversation that much easier.

Michael Ian Black

I feel like my career has been a series of glowing obituaries.

Michael Ian Black

I do not go to church. I don’t go to Christian church or Jew church or any other church. I don’t go to church at all. Not ever. A perfect Sunday for me is spent drinking green tea while reading the Sunday New York Times. Yikes! Why don’t I just...

Michael Ian Black

Lordy, lordy, lordy do I love money. It is a character flaw, no doubt, one that springs from a panicked childhood in which I always felt as if our family was only a couple missed child support payments from being tossed onto the pitiless streets of o...

Michael Ian Black

Author Bio

  • NameMichael Ian Black
  • DescriptionAmerican comedian, actor, writer, and director
  • BornAugust 12, 1971
  • CountryUnited States Of America
  • ProfessionActor; Screenwriter