Quotes by Matthew Inman

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Anything that smiles often needs to be reminded that the world is a cruel, dark place.

Matthew Inman

They say you should treat your body like a temple. I treat mine like a fast-moving dumpster.

Matthew Inman

Crunches are an exercise where you lie on your back and angrily try to head-butt your crotch.

Matthew Inman

A popular form of overpriced torture wherein participants wake up at ass-o-clock in the morning and stand in the freezing cold until it's time to run, at which point they miserably trot for a god-awful interval of time that could be better spent slee...

Matthew Inman

I did not become a runner to lose weight, I did it to escape my computer

Matthew Inman

Running a race assigns a point to a sport that often feels very pointless. It's an exuberant payoff to months of tedium. It's a way of crafting an end boss for a particularly cumbersome video game. It's a fun, monstrous reason to keep putting one foo...

Matthew Inman