Quotes by Mark Twain

About Mark Twain:

Samuel Langhorne Clemens was an American author and humorist. He wrote The Adventures of Tom Sawyer (1876) and its sequel, Adventures of Huckleberry Finn (1885), the latter often called "The Great American Novel".
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

I love to hear myself talk, because I get so much instruction and moral upheaval out of it.

Mark Twain

All right, then, I'll go to hell.

Mark Twain

NOTICE Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot. BY ORDER OF THE AUTHOR Per G.G.,Chief of Ordnance

Mark Twain

Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot. BY ORDER OF THE AUTHOR per G.G., CHIEF OF ORDNANCE

Mark Twain

and so when I couldn't stand it no longer, I lit out. I got into my old rags and my sugar-hogshead again, and was free and satisfied.

Mark Twain

I deserve it all. Let the cold world do its worst; one thing I know--there's a grave somewhere for me. The world may go on just as its always done, and take everything from me--loved ones, property, everything--but it can't take that. Some day I'll l...

Mark Twain

Right is right, and wrong is wrong, and a body ain’t got no business doing wrong when he ain’t ignorant and knows better.

Mark Twain

Jim said he believed it was spirits, but I says: no, spirits wouldn't say "dern the dern fog".

Mark Twain

She said all a body would have to do there [Heaven] was to go around all day long with a harp and sing, forever and ever.

Mark Twain

Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons  attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot.

Mark Twain

That is just the way with some people. They get down on a thing when they don’t know nothing about it.

Mark Twain

Stars and shadows ain't good to see by.

Mark Twain

I had been to school most all the time, and could spell, and read, and write just a little, and could say the multiplication table up to six times seven is thirty-five, and I don't reckon I could ever get any further than that if I was to live foreve...

Mark Twain

Yes - en I's rich now, come to look at it. I owns myself, en I's wuth eight hund'd dollars. I wisht I had de money, I wouldn' want no mo'.

Mark Twain

If your mother tells you to do a thing, it is wrong to reply that you won't. It is better and more becoming to intimate that you will do as she bids you, and then afterward act quietly in the matter according to the dictates of your best judgment.

Mark Twain

Diligence and attention soon gave him the knack of it, and he strode down the street with his mouth full of harmony and his soul full of gratitude. He felt much as an astronomer feels who has discovered a new planet—no doubt, as far as strong, deep...

Mark Twain

Tom said to himself that it was not such a hollow world, after all. He had discovered a great law of human action, without knowing it -- namely, that in order to make a man or a boy covet a thing, it is only necessary to make the thing difficult to a...

Mark Twain

But old fools is the biggest fools there is.

Mark Twain

Then at once they reached and hovered upon the imminent verge of sleep - but an intruder came, now, that would not "down". It was conscience. They began to feel a vague fear that they had been doing wrong to run away; and next they thought of the sto...

Mark Twain

Who knows, he may grow up to be President someday, unless they hang him first!" Aunt Polly about Tom Sawyer

Mark Twain

Looking' his last' upon the scene of his former joys and his later sufferings, and wishing 'she' could see him now, abroad on the wild sea, facing peril and death with a dauntless heart, going to his doom with a grim smile on his lips.

Mark Twain

Author Bio

  • NameMark Twain
  • DescriptionAmerican author and humorist
  • AliasesSamuel Langhorne Clemens; Samuel Clemens
  • BornNovember 30, 1835
  • DiedApril 21, 1910
  • CountryUnited States Of America
  • ProfessionJournalist; Humorist; Novelist; Children's Writer; Autobiographer
  • WorksAdventures Of Huckleberry Finn; The Adventures Of Tom Sawyer