If you're a cartoon character or most TV characters, sure, you'll fight, because the punches are juicy-sounding and they don't leave marks. But in real life, if somebody punches you in the eye, it doesn't make any noise and your eye is swollen for, l...
Life is full of horrible mistakes.
I've tried to do away with lying in my life in the last few years, but it's hard.
I don't have a brother in real life.
For my scale, how I grew up and live my life, I'm making plenty of money.
A very painful part of being a parent is having really negative feelings about your children when you love them so much.
I love comedians. They're my community.
When I read things like the foundations of capitalism are shattering, I'm like, maybe we need that. Maybe we need some time where we're walking around with a donkey with pots clanging on the sides.
I spend enough time onscreen looking hangdog and depressed.
I never viewed money as being 'my money' I always saw it as 'the money.' It's a resource. If it pools up around me then it needs to be flushed back out into the system.
Well, when I was younger, I lied all the time, because once you understand the power of lying, it's really like magic because you transform reality for people.
If you're a woman and a guy's ever said anything romantic to you, he just left off the second part that would have made you sick if you could have heard it.
When I take my kids out for dinner or lunch, people smile at us.
Breaking records is not something you expect to be doing. That's like a sports thing, it's not usually a comedy and writing thing.
Gay men have to go through something to own their - who they are. They get beat up. They get ostracized. Whatever they go through, if they survive it, they come out very confident people.
I don't think women are better than men, I think men are a lot worse than women.
When you're a father in a marriage, you sort of become the mother's assistant. And you sort of get a list from her every day and you run down the list and it feels very much like a chore.
I grew up watching all these crazy movies, European movies and stuff, and I guess that I always laughed at things that were a little more offbeat.
Talking is always positive. That's why I talk too much.
It's a positive thing to talk about terrible things and make people laugh about them.
I'm enjoying the work while I get it right now.
