Quotes by Lewis Carroll

About Lewis Carroll:

Charles Lutwidge Dodgson is noted for his facility at word play, logic, and fantasy. There are societies in many parts of the world dedicated to the enjoyment and promotion of his works and the investigation of his life.
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

You know what Munny said to me, right before we left? She said, ‘Watching someone die is hard work. Go to Australia and watch Faye fall in love with some dude named Rabbit. That should be fun.

Lewis Carroll

You can donate marrow for her, Alice Faye, you can’t cure her. You can win a poker tournament, but that won’t make her want to live. So I’ll ask you again: Who are you, and what are you doing here? Because Munny sure doesn’t want you to be he...

Lewis Carroll

Wait, and you had to ask him if Faye’s in danger? IF? Okay, first of all, I’m just going to admit that I didn’t know Japan had a Mafia, but I also didn’t know they got a Disney World. If someone gets an invitation from the Mafia, I’d say th...

Lewis Carroll

And just so you know—that winter forest we walked into first? That was from Through the Looking Glass too. Hey, if you’re going to saddle me with the blame for your overconsumption, at least get the book right.

Lewis Carroll

Enjoy your little run because there’s no way you get off this boat without her trying to slice your Achilles in half.

Lewis Carroll

Turns out making a dramatic exit is a lot harder when you have to stand there and wait another twenty minutes for a boat to dock.

Lewis Carroll

Well, you played me, Rabbit. You played me, and it worked, and I’m not the kind of person to make the same mistake twice. Your whole life is a game, but you know what? I already have a life. Poker’s nothing to me but a goddamn deck of cards.

Lewis Carroll

I think it should be obvious by now that I’m not necessarily interested in reality.

Lewis Carroll

Well, I think I speak for everyone when I say that 'Alice Faye picked a peck of pepper for the poor, piping pig in the purple poke.' Wait—is that not what we’re talking about here?

Lewis Carroll

Well then, I guess I’m man enough to admit that I’m trying to get in touch with my inner bitch.

Lewis Carroll

Who are you? Rabbit and Souris call you ‘Alice,’ me and Dee call you ‘Faye.’ I just didn’t know if ‘Alice’ was your poker-playing, Southern Hemisphere name or what. Hey, I’m just trying to fit in here. If I should be introducing mysel...

Lewis Carroll

Okay, so English settlers brought rabbits with them to Australia to breed for food and stuff, right? But they escaped and basically started destroying the country, eating the vegetation, that kind of thing. So by the early 1900s, the government was t...

Lewis Carroll

You keep right on building that fence, Faye. See what good it does you.

Lewis Carroll

Fun fact: You may hug koalas in the Australian state of New South Wales, but not in Queensland. So…if you didn’t hug your koala nice and tight before you got here to Sydney, you’re going to be shit out of luck until we go back to Surfer’s Par...

Lewis Carroll

I hear they’re all infected with chlamydia, which just goes to show that you really can’t tell who’s got the clam. I mean, look at a picture of a koala…tell me you’re not shocked.

Lewis Carroll

In any other fabric of space-time, my brother would have picked up Dee’s venereal disease-infested koala punt and run it straight down the line of vulgarity, all the way to the touchdown of tastelessness.

Lewis Carroll

Don’t be such a dumbass, Gabe. Koalas don’t travel in herds. They move in heaps. Much like emus move in ripples, and kangaroos travel in photo-ops.

Lewis Carroll

After one and a half cocktails, finding the appropriate response is a bit of a challenge. I finally say, 'Thank you for inviting me,' and leave the less desirable 'Want to play strip poker?' in the unscrupulous part of my brain where it belongs.

Lewis Carroll

Speaking of your eyeballs, dear brother,I overheard some girls talking about you in the restroom at the tournament hotel. Apparently rumor now has it that you won’t allow anyone to see your eyes—ever. In fact, according to this knowledgeable sour...

Lewis Carroll

Okay then, I suppose you get a pass on poker intimidation for the glasses, little brother. But everyone else is wearing them at the tables too, and they’re all just sitting there, looking all serious, like they’re birthing the Grand Theory of Eve...

Lewis Carroll

This is from the queen? And you say it’s for a mouse? I’m sorry, sir, but the Pyramid Hotel doesn’t allow any pets except for service animals.

Lewis Carroll

Author Bio

  • NameLewis Carroll
  • DescriptionEnglish writer, mathematician, logician, Anglican deacon and photographer
  • AliasesCharles Lutwidge Dodgson; Charles Dodgson
  • BornJanuary 27, 1832
  • DiedJanuary 14, 1898
  • CountryUnited Kingdom
  • ProfessionMathematician; Logician; Photographer; Poet; Deacon; Children's Writer; Diarist; Novelist; Writer; Autobiographer
  • WorksAlice's Adventures In Wonderland; Through The Looking-Glass; The Hunting Of The Snark; Jabberwocky