Quotes by Lewis Carroll

About Lewis Carroll:

Charles Lutwidge Dodgson is noted for his facility at word play, logic, and fantasy. There are societies in many parts of the world dedicated to the enjoyment and promotion of his works and the investigation of his life.
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Hey, any idea why Australians speak something that sounds deceptively like English but isn’t? I mean, I’m trying to figure out why I can’t seem to converse with another human being who speaks the same language as I do.

Lewis Carroll

My butt has a maximum drive time of seven hours.

Lewis Carroll

I’m busy trying not to look like anything edible.

Lewis Carroll

First, I’d like to point out that I didn’t use ‘one of mine.’ You refused to let me pay for my ice cream cone with a good ol’ fashioned credit card, and you forced your pretend money on me. Secondly, I can’t take any currency seriously th...

Lewis Carroll

You can pay for whatever you want, but I just want to warn you that I prefer to stay at places that don’t start or end with the word ‘motel.

Lewis Carroll

The line from Pulp Fiction—the one Samuel L. Jackson shouts at John Travolta as they’re trying to wash blood off their hands—pops into my head: 'I used the same soap you did and when I dried my hands, the towel didn't look like no fuckin’ max...

Lewis Carroll

When she reaches down to touch his shoulder—a gesture only a few species and a million or so years removed from lifting a leg and marking him as her territory with a stream of urine—enough bracelets and bangles to lay track across the Australian ...

Lewis Carroll

Do you really think I’d let him call my sister a ‘bitch?’ Or you for that matter? Talon Hawk’s dumb, but he’s smarter than that…he’d be crawling around on his hands and knees picking his teeth off the tiles.

Lewis Carroll

Don’t make me Alice-nap you, Alice. Because you know I can carry you.

Lewis Carroll

I’m almost afraid to tell you. Let’s put it this way: clean toilets are the least of your problems in this country.

Lewis Carroll

I’ve found that lifting the lid with your foot is the most thorough and least gross path to two minutes of peace of mind.

Lewis Carroll

. I’ve watched about a dozen tourists almost get hit by cars since I’ve been here. I barely made it to the beach alive the other day. I mean, no one knows what they’re doing. They swing their heads back and forth like they’re mounted on a doo...

Lewis Carroll

Because trying to think of how to ask a woman you’ve known for exactly two days if she’d be willing to get into a car with you and take a road trip across the country was something I hadn’t quite worked up to yet.

Lewis Carroll

Basic economic theory. People behave differently based on how much they think something’s worth. Because everyone got their chips for free, people made huge bets on every hand—no matter what they were holding. People who play with everything on t...

Lewis Carroll

I use the word “man” loosely. A better description would be “the most beautiful specimen of Homo sapiens sapiens with a set of XY chromosomes to grace the planet Earth at this moment, or any other era, epoch, or age in history.

Lewis Carroll

Like your sweet, affectionate house cat, Alice Dahl is easy to underestimate. It’s not until the songbirds in the yard show up eviscerated on the front porch that you realize you should’ve kept that bell collar on her—because those poor birds n...

Lewis Carroll

Mouse likes to drag you to uninhabited areas with no cell signal—all those places perfect for dying of exposure.

Lewis Carroll

Don’t take this the wrong way, but Australians have a LOT of bitches on their cashola.

Lewis Carroll

I try not to laugh too loud, afraid a bark-like noise will be mistaken by any great whites lurking in the area as the distress call of a juvenile seal.

Lewis Carroll

I have a totally unhealthy and unrealistic fear of being eaten by a great white shark. This is because I belong to a very specific demographic called American Child Whose Parents Made the Ill-Advised Decision To Allow Her To Watch the Movie Jaws At a...

Lewis Carroll

Locals. They’ll eventually get out. They’re annoyed. Like when Americans go to the lake. And it’s closed. ‘Cause some kid pooped in the water.

Lewis Carroll

Author Bio

  • NameLewis Carroll
  • DescriptionEnglish writer, mathematician, logician, Anglican deacon and photographer
  • AliasesCharles Lutwidge Dodgson; Charles Dodgson
  • BornJanuary 27, 1832
  • DiedJanuary 14, 1898
  • CountryUnited Kingdom
  • ProfessionMathematician; Logician; Photographer; Poet; Deacon; Children's Writer; Diarist; Novelist; Writer; Autobiographer
  • WorksAlice's Adventures In Wonderland; Through The Looking-Glass; The Hunting Of The Snark; Jabberwocky