I have come to believe that I am a lesser authority in my own life. I have learned to distrust less-than-rational, nontechnical experiences, my own phenomenal knowledge. Because, to trust the senses - the mortal body - is to risk sounding crazy, especially, it seems. if you're a woman. She's seeing things. She's hearing things. She's so sensitive. Read: She's irrational. And this I have internalized. Who am I to trust my body, my senses, my instincts? Who am I to know how to raise my child without consulting parenting books and up-to-date rearing studies? Who am I to try to find God outside of an institutionally approved, fully vetted doctrine? Who am I to think I can pursue impractical dreams? Who am I to be taken seriously? Who am I to think I'm capable or worthy? Who am I to...who am I?