Quotes by Karl Pilkington

About Karl Pilkington:

Karl Pilkington is an English travel show presenter, actor, author and former radio producer. He gained prominence as the producer of Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant's radio programme on XFM. He appeared on The Ricky Gervais Show, presented the Sky travel series An Idiot Abroad, and made his full acting debut (following a cameo appearance in the final episode of Extras) on Gervais' 2012 comedy-drama series Derek. Pilkington is a co-founder, along with Gervais and Merchant, of RiSK Productions, a television production company.
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The problem is, these days you have to listen to too many parts of your body. Sometimes I go with my gut feeling, some say go with what your heart says - it's only a matter of time before my appendix will have an opinion. This is probably why there a...

Karl Pilkington

People eat duck and you think, well, we've got loads of chickens, leave the ducks alone!

Karl Pilkington

I thought the fart was a human thing. It's something to do with like, arse cheeks, or whatever.

Karl Pilkington

A block of blood should not have the word "cake" after it...they might as well say "shite gateau

Karl Pilkington

I know who I am. Bloody hell, I'm getting enough bills for Karl Pilkington so I hope I am him, 'cos if I'm not, I have no idea who I'm paying for.

Karl Pilkington

It's interesting to see that people had so much clutter even thousands of years ago. The only way to get rid of it all was to bury it, and then some archaeologist went and dug it all up.

Karl Pilkington

She gave me the jabs and said I was covered for every worst-case scenario, including being bitten by a dirty chimp. I told her this is why we have over-population problems. Why are idiots who annoy dirty chimps being protected?

Karl Pilkington

I don't really like surprises. Not big ones anyway. Just having a pack of Revels holds enough of a surprise for me.

Karl Pilkington

Everywhere we walked we got plenty of attention due to the camera and sound men. The locals love to get on camera. [...] I'd seen footage of Gandhi surrounded like this and always thought it was because he was very popular, but now I wonder if it was...

Karl Pilkington

I told her that I can't be doing with the Wonder part of these trips, but she said it should be the icing on the cake... I've never liked wedding cake due to the amount of icing, but then imagine a wedding cake without it; just a dark, stodgy, horrib...

Karl Pilkington

The problem I have with all this religion stuff is that I can't relate to it. I think most people got into 'cos it gave them something to do on a Sunday, but since all the shops are now open it isn't required as much.

Karl Pilkington

It wouldn't happen... There hasn't been one publication by a monkey

Karl Pilkington

Stop looking at the walls, look out the window.

Karl Pilkington

They keep saying that sea levels are rising an' all this. It's nowt to do with the icebergs melting, it's because there's too many fish in it. Get rid of some of the fish and the water will drop. Simple. Basic science.

Karl Pilkington

I could eat a knob at night.

Karl Pilkington

Sometimes you can know too much. A lot of brainy people like Stephen Fry are quite depressive.

Karl Pilkington

At the end of the day, teachers aren't going to mess about trying to make me into an Einstein, 'cause it was never gonna happen. We can't all be brainy, can we? That's just the way the world is.

Karl Pilkington

I say have the night and give people the awards, but why do people want to watch people win awards? What are they getting out of it? I don't quite get it. Because they have awards all the time; there's awards for butchers, the best meat served, but t...

Karl Pilkington

I'd say the best is when I was in Africa, I saw a hippo in a house. Someone had a pet hippo. And they're meant to be one of the most dangerous animals on the planet, and they had one that was sort of just wandering in and out of their house, just sor...

Karl Pilkington

It would be spiteful to put a Jellyfish in a trifle.

Karl Pilkington

Author Bio

  • NameKarl Pilkington
  • DescriptionEnglish television personality, social commentator, actor, author and former radio producer
  • BornSeptember 23, 1972
  • CountryUnited Kingdom
  • ProfessionWriter; Actor; Radio Host