Quotes by Jon Stewart

About Jon Stewart:

Jon Stewart is an American comedian, writer, producer, director, actor, media critic, and television host. From 1999 to 2015, he was the host of The Daily Show, a satirical news program that airs on Comedy Central.
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

I heard Dennis Kucinich say in a debate, 'When I'm president... and I just wanted to stop him and say, 'Dude.'

Jon Stewart

If you watch the news and don't like it, then this is your counter program to the news.

Jon Stewart

I'm too short to host a late-night talk show. It's like the bar at an amusement-park ride. You have to be six foot two or over.

Jon Stewart

Insomnia is my greatest inspiration.

Jon Stewart

Many of our soldiers are stationed at Camp Coyote just south of the Iraqi border. This is how you know we have a strong army, when you can actually tell your enemy exactly where your camp is and what its name is.

Jon Stewart

There is no such thing as an impartial jury because there are no impartial people. There are people that argue on the web for hours about who their favorite character on 'Friends' is.

Jon Stewart

Ahh, Earth Day, the only day of the year where being able to hacky-sack will get you laid.

Jon Stewart

The Internet is just a world passing around notes in a classroom.

Jon Stewart

Liberal and conservative have lost their meaning in America. I represent the distracted center.

Jon Stewart

President Bush remained undeterred by the massive display of American opposition, even though much of it came from the hundreds of thousands of voters who supported him by voting for Nader.

Jon Stewart

I was born with an adult head and a tiny body. Like a 'Peanuts' character.

Jon Stewart

There are a hell of a lot of jobs that are scarier than live comedy. Like standing in the operating room when a guy's heart stops, and you're the one who has to fix it!

Jon Stewart

If you're going to give people 20 minutes of news satire, you've also got to give them Tiffani-Amber Thiessen or you're going to have rioting in the streets.

Jon Stewart

I don't care about wealth. What seems to be upsetting is institutionalizing the advantages that wealth gives you.

Jon Stewart

Why is it that if you take advantage of a corporate tax break you're a smart businessman, but if you take advantage of something so you don't go hungry, you're a moocher?

Jon Stewart

A joke is a joke. There's an expression - I don't know if you have it - that's 'adding insult to injury.'

Jon Stewart

If your regime is not strong enough to handle a joke, then you don't have a regime.

Jon Stewart

Religion. It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.

Jon Stewart

If America leads a blessed life, then why did God put all of our oil under people who hate us?

Jon Stewart

No one is better at not beating America than England.

Jon Stewart

Free time is death to the anxious, and thank goodness I don't have any of it right now.

Jon Stewart

Author Bio

  • NameJon Stewart
  • DescriptionAmerican political satirist, writer, television host, actor, media critic and stand-up comedian
  • BornNovember 28, 1962
  • CountryUnited States Of America
  • ProfessionActor; Film Actor; Television Presenter; Film Director; Screenwriter; Writer
  • AwardsPeabody Award; Primetime Emmy Award