Quotes by Jon Stewart

About Jon Stewart:

Jon Stewart is an American comedian, writer, producer, director, actor, media critic, and television host. From 1999 to 2015, he was the host of The Daily Show, a satirical news program that airs on Comedy Central.
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It's funny. When we were alive we spent much of our time staring up at the cosmos and wondering what was out there. We were obsessed with the moon and whether we could one day visit it. The day we finally walked on it was celebrated worldwide as perh...

Jon Stewart

Often, no sooner would the mind begin to scale the heights of Mt. Knowledge than it would receive a frantic call from body base camp, demanding it return to oversee "Operation Masturbate.

Jon Stewart

Why did the Articles [of Confederation] fail so completely? Most historians believe the founding fathers spent a great deal of their first constitutional convention drafting the delaration of independence and only realized on July 3rd the Articles we...

Jon Stewart

While anarchy can often turn a humdrum weekend into something unforgettable, eventually the mob must be kept from . And while it would be nice if that "something" was simple human decency, anybody who has witnessed the "50% Off Wedding Dress Sale" at...

Jon Stewart

As heirs to a legacy more than two centuries old, it is understandable why present-day Americans would take their own democracy for granted. A president freely chosen from a wide-open field of two men every four years; a Congress with a 99% incumbenc...

Jon Stewart

It's not that the Democrats are playing checkers and the Republicans are playing chess. It's that the Republicans are playing chess and the Democrats are in the nurse's office because once again they glued their balls to their thighs.

Jon Stewart

The seven marvels that best represent man's achievements over the last 2,000 years will be determined by Internet vote... so look for Howard Stern's Private Parts to come in No. 1.

Jon Stewart

I've always liked Atlanta. And not just for the strip clubs, but the shopping and the food.

Jon Stewart

If the events of September 11, 2001, have proven anything, it's that the terrorists can attack us, but they can't take away what makes us American - our freedom, our liberty, our civil rights. No, only Attorney General John Ashcroft can do that.

Jon Stewart

Our culture is just a series of checks and balances. The whole idea that we're in a battle between tyranny and freedom - it's a series of pendulum swings.

Jon Stewart

More than 150 heads of state attended the UN Summit, giving New Yorkers a chance to get in touch with prejudices they didn't even know they had.

Jon Stewart

McVeigh's lawyer got him the death penalty, which, quite frankly, I could have done.

Jon Stewart

I'm not just a boy toy. I have feelings and dreams like anybody else.

Jon Stewart

Fatherhood is great because you can ruin someone from scratch.

Jon Stewart

I was born in New York City, but I was raised in New Jersey, part of the great Jewish emigration of 1963.

Jon Stewart

You just have to keep trying to do good work, and hope that it leads to more good work. I want to look back on my career and be proud of the work, and be proud that I tried everything. Yes, I want to look back and know that I was terrible at a variet...

Jon Stewart

The Supreme Court ruled that disabled golfer Casey Martin has a legal right to ride in a golf cart between shots at PGA Tour events. Man, the next thing you know, they're going to have some guy carry his clubs around for him.

Jon Stewart

I've been to Canada, and I've always gotten the impression that I could take the country over in about two days.

Jon Stewart

We have it. The smoking gun. The evidence. The potential weapon of mass destruction we have been looking for as our pretext of invading Iraq. There's just one problem - it's in North Korea.

Jon Stewart

Yesterday, the president met with a group he calls the coalition of the willing. Or, as the rest of the world calls them, Britain and Spain.

Jon Stewart

Author Bio

  • NameJon Stewart
  • DescriptionAmerican political satirist, writer, television host, actor, media critic and stand-up comedian
  • BornNovember 28, 1962
  • CountryUnited States Of America
  • ProfessionActor; Film Actor; Television Presenter; Film Director; Screenwriter; Writer
  • AwardsPeabody Award; Primetime Emmy Award