Quotes by John Alejandro King

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Classifications as Jokes Confidential: snickers Secret: guffaws Top Secret: full belly laughs Unclassified: uproarious laughter and applause

John Alejandro King

No easy answers? I know plenty of answers that’ll do it on the very first date.

John Alejandro King

The US Intelligence Community: ark and flood in one package.

John Alejandro King

Am I the only person who thinks the theory of solipsism is totally stupid? ... Hello?

John Alejandro King

Executive Intelligence Summary: Machine out of order. New order, on order.

John Alejandro King

No thunder was ever angry, nor dark cloud somber. But every drizzle is definitely embarrassed.

John Alejandro King

Kiss the girls and make them neither confirm nor deny.

John Alejandro King

If the CIA isn’t a force for truth, what is it good for? (Truth, I mean, not the CIA.)

John Alejandro King

Motivational Secret of the Week: You are not a statistic. You are a datum used in the calculation of a statistic.

John Alejandro King

I never read the whole Zen koan – I just skip to the end to find out if the monk attained enlightenment.

John Alejandro King

Even if I did create them myself, I still think I'm doing pretty well under the circumstances.

John Alejandro King

Come the revolution, it'll probably be a good idea to stop saying 'Come the revolution.

John Alejandro King

Don't touch me – I don't know where I've been.

John Alejandro King

I believe the examination of body image issues is important and valuable – particularly the swimsuit issue.

John Alejandro King

My wife says she would never fake an orgasm – but if I want her to, she’s willing to fake faking one.

John Alejandro King

I stand behind my words – it’s just hard to see me because they’re so much bigger than I am.

John Alejandro King

SpookSpeak. Douche diligence n. (CIA) Investigation and assessment performed prior to recommending a potential intelligence asset for recruitment.

John Alejandro King

To not wear anything, and to wear nothing, are not the same.

John Alejandro King

How do I know you're who you say you aren't?

John Alejandro King

Some case officers drink to spy better. The best case officers spy to drink better.

John Alejandro King

On the directory map in CIA Headquarters lobby, it says 'You Aren't Here.

John Alejandro King