About Joe E. Lewis: Joe E. Lewis was an American comedian and singer.
It pays to get drunk with the best people.
I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster.
I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.
The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love.
A man is never drunk if he can lay on the floor without holding on.
I always wake up at the crack of ice.
I don't drink any more than the man next to me, and the man next to me is Dean Martin.
I drink to forget I drink.
I would take a bomb, but I can't stand the noise.
Show me a friend in need and I'll show you a pest.
Show me a man with both feet on the ground and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants on.
They had me on the operating table all day. They looked into my stomach, my gall bladder, they examined everything inside of me. Know what they decided? I need glasses.
I'm still chasing girls. I don't remember what for, but I'm still chasing them.
Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my Scotch, I say I'm thirsty, not dirty.
I've been on such a losing streak that if I had been around I would have taken General Custer and given points.
We can afford almost any mistake once.
If you want to make a dangerous man your friend, let him do you a favor.
Adlai Stevenson has a genius for saying the right thing, at the right time, to the wrong people.
I don't like money actually, but it quiets the nerves.
It doesn't matter whether you are rich or poor - as long as you've got money.
